“Welcome to Miami! Buenvenidos a Miami”

I want to start this post by saying that my favorite girl from seasons ago, Kacie B. You’ll remember her from Ben’s season (baton twirler from somewhere in the South), and then she was able to make it for a couple episodes of Sean’s season. Well I saw on Twitter that Kacie B. got married this past weekend! It proves there is hope for the contestants after this show!

Okay, back to this season, we start the episode by Juan Pablo wanting to surprise Camilla, do you think that she was tipped off by the camera guys in her house waiting for her reaction? Why do we need to see the bathing suit boxes and then seeing the girls all look at them? Was that really necessary?

This is interesting to see Juan Pablo talking to someone about where he’s at in the process of this whole thing. I’m sorry I didn’t catch who he is, if he’s a brother or a cousin or a random stranger. I just know that the one girl they show us talking about is Sharleen. She’s an OPRAH singer, evidently just sings about Oprah, maybe her bestie Gayle and her boyfriend Stedman. Once he says she could be the one, you have to see the rest of the writing on the wall. And then him and the random guy hug it out.

Juan Pablo shows up at the girls suite and says he’s so excited to hand the date card to the lucky girl.Sharleen is playing dumb when he hands her the date card and she asks if it’s a joke. Then when he tells her that he has 10 mins to get ready she keeps questioning it. Evidently we’re going to put on a dress, go stand out on the balcony, have a confessional video about how we need a cerebrial connection, and now we’re off!

Chelsie has taken on the catty girl role. Which means she’s going to be heading home. She starts the convo about how she doesn’t see the connection between Juan Pablo and Sharleen. I think the BEST line was when one of the girls said “Yeah, he’s not even her type, because she goes for the intellectual and smart guys.” One of the other girls must realize how bad that sounds, because she comes back with “yea nerdy.” Good catch, because you were just calling your potential husband stupid.

Wow Sharleen and Juan Pablo are going to be spending their time on a NICE yacht. Here’s a question for you, Juan Pablo is taking all these selfies, what’s he going to do with all the photos of him and his non-wives? Well no time to worry about that, because Juan Pablo has decided to lay down and get comfortable. Whereas Sharleen is having a hard time doing that. It is SO UNCOMFORTABLE! They are not really even talking at all, not even small talk. She decides to lay down on him, and he puts on his soccer date moves and tells her to look in his eyes and then decides it’s best to make out because he has nothing to say.

Sharleen then says one of the most intelligent things when she says “you’re trouble” however she follows it up with a stupid thing “you must look in the mirror and say you’re trouble.” and then she lets him get away without saying a word and starts kissing him again, and we have about a million different angles of them kissing.

Nikki and Andi are talking about how Sharleen is not going to be able to see a future with Juan Pablo. Since Sharleen is constantly traveling for her job. Andi wonders if she’d give up everything to stay with Juan Pablo and Camilla.

Sharleen and Juan Pablo evidently get in the water for 2 seconds (hair is wet but I didn’t see them in water) and then start making out again. They are on the beach in their swimsuits and FINALLY have a convo. Where she says her priorities have changed and change is a good thing. He says he likes that and now they’re in the ocean and are making out. I don’t think they’re making out the same way him and Clare did, though I could be wrong, it just doesn’t appear that the waves are as large and dangerous as they were with Clare, and you can take that however you want!

Ugh, we come back from commercial break and we’re STILL on this date. I’m bored out of my mind with this date. She is now in another fancy dress and they’re back on the yacht and are back to the same position they were at the beginning of the date and are laying down and making out. Juan Pablo feels happy when he’s with her and like he doesn’t need anything else at all. They continue to make out and I literally have nothing else to type.

We hear a lot about chemistry and I’ll say they’re obviously both physically attracted to one another, but they just have not really had a connection. They haven’t opened up to each other yet because each time they open their mouths, they’re attached. Sharleen did crack me up because she said she doesn’t know about how she feels, and she wishes she were dumber so she could just go with it. Her little voice in her head is telling her it’s not right.

Poor Chelsie wants a one on one date, and Nikki gets it instead. Chelsie is mad because Nikki is complaining that the date card says something about dancing.

Sharleen gets home from her date and has a session with Renee planned. I hope that Renee is getting paid for all the therapy sessions she’s put in this season! Sharleen is not sure and says it’s not fair to take that spot. And Renee again shows why everyone goes to her for advice because she’s the most selfless person, and reassures Sharleen to stay and think about what she’s giving up. I hope Juan Pablo realizes how many girls would be gone or left earlier had it not been for Renee.

Nikki and Juan Pablo are going to go one their second one on one date and Nikki is dressed normally. She’s wearing jean shorts (a little shorter than I would recommend) a silk white cami (a little lower than I would suggest) but a cute sweater. WOW Nikki gets to be the first girl to meet the family. They are at a flower shop to pick out flowers to go to Camilla’s dance rehearsal. She’s going to meet Camilla, Juan Pablo’s parents and Camilla’s mom.

I’m SOOOOOO excited to see what Camilla’s mom looks like! And of course we have to go back to the hotel so the other 4 girls can see the date card that they’re gonna be on a group date and a rose will be handed out to determine who’s going to hometowns! Which means this season there is no dreaded 2 on 1 date, and I gotta admit I’m quite disappointed by this news! I love the awkwardness of the 2 on 1 date!

Alright, so Nikki has to meet Juan Pablo’s parents in a dance studio with all the other parents/grandparents there. So they have to whisper and hug quickly. That includes hugging and kiss cheeking Camilla’s mom who is sitting next to Juan Pablo’s dad. Camilla’s mom doesn’t seem impressed. She is gorgeous! She has the long dark hair, but I gotta say, I think I see glimpses of the crazy eyes!

Poor Camilla has to see her dad on a date in the front row. She doesn’t seem that impressed. I do have to say it seemed like Camilla was looking more at her mom or grandpa when she was doing her dance rehearsal. Though they did show her running up to her dad and hugging him right when it got over and him handing her the flowers. Juan Pablo introduced her to his friend Nikki, and Nikki shows that she interacts and deals with kids on a daily basis. She was able to handle a quick conversation with her and didn’t seem mad when she ran over to talk to her mom. (I’d like to see Clare handle that!!!) Then we have an awkward interaction with Juan Pablo’s parents and Camilla’s mom. We also find out from Juan Pablo that it’s Camila’s mom’s birthday tomorrow. Why we need to know that, I do not know. But Nikki handled it wonderfully by wishing her a happy early birthday. I think Nikki handled the situation with the ut-most grace, it was Camilla’s mom who looked jealous. Nikki did very good on this date, and it just proves she’s good step-mom material!

Nikki and Juan Pablo actually have a conversation, unlike him and Sharleen. She talks about how great Camilla is. Nikki asks the hard hitting question with where will Juan Pablo’s wife fit in? Evidently Camilla’s mom’s name is Carla, so Nikki points out the obvious/awkwardness that Juan Pablo and Carla are friends. Is Carla okay with Camilla having a step-mom. Juan Pablo answers very quickly YES. Oh Juan Pablo, Juan Pablo, Juan Pablo, you are such a guy (which is a good thing). As a 3rd party observer with absolutely no personal interest in the matter, I can tell you from the shots of Carla that I saw, which weren’t a lot, she is most certainly NOT fine with it. She’s jealous! Juan Pablo tells her hey, Carla isn’t going anywhere, and Juan Pablo and her will continue to have a relationship, so you’re just gonna have to deal. After actually having a convo, they kiss. Then they walk up the steps, and I’m torn because it looks as though Nikki walked up them and is standing in the concourse with the Miami backdrop barefoot. That is GROSS!!!! And Nikki’s the first to say that she loves him (she doesn’t admit to him, just to us)

Sharleen announces to the girls that she’s super conflicted and has been for awhile and it’s not fair for her to take a spot. So she’s going to be leaving. Andi is the only one who can say anything and she asks if she’s sure. All the girls hug her and Clare is the only one who is grinning ear to ear while saying goodbye. Andi is aware enough to say that she thinks Juan Pablo will be shocked. Juan Pablo answers the door and he’s excited to see her. He’s probably thinking it’s gonna be a visit like the last visit he had when Clare came. Sorry Juan Pablo, you already had your time in the ocean with Sharleen!

She sits on the couch and is crying and is actually able to talk in more than 2 sentences. A sure sign for him to know it’s over between them! She doesn’t think she’s ready to say she can marry him in 3 weeks time (the place “she’s supposed to be at”) She doesn’t want to take anyone’s spot. She feels more for him then she does anyone else. She is whispering, so he whispers. And he does the whole “look at me, look at me” thing. Then she cries and he hugs her. He doesn’t try to guilt her into staying, he tells her you shouldn’t be sorry for the way you feel. Dang, Juan Pablo is suave! She said she didn’t want to have wasted his time, and he assures her she didn’t waste his time and he’s glad he got to meet someone special like her. She’s caught his attention since the first night, because she’s different in a good way. And she walks away.

I called that she was going to be like Brayden who left Des! It took her longer, but she did it. He was shocked that she left, and he started crying in his video. But again, he wasn’t a douche! He was really respectful and said that he has nothing but respect for Sharleen and in this situation “You gots to be honest” (and yes he said gots). Sharleen gets a cab instead of a limo since she left him, and I think that has her more upset than leaving Juan Pablo. Juan Pablo doesn’t have what she’s looking for in terms of forever, so she’s gone!

GOODNESS, we still have a group date to get through! Whoever gets this rose is bringing Juan Pablo home. And Nikki gets to hang at the hotel by herself. Juan Pablo picks the girls up on a plane that will land in the water, and believe it or not Clare has herself next to Juan Pablo in the plane. And look after he gets done toasting, we see that she’s sitting next to him under the tree.

Chelsie gets her one on one time first. Juan Pablo is not really interested in her. I like that Chelsie brings out note cards from her family. Her parents wrote her notes and they were laughing about them. I don’t see the spark however.

COME ON Andi! Keep it together girl! You have had way too many breakdowns this season. You make it hard to root for you. She feels vulnerable right now. Doesn’t she know that this is the portion of the season that you tell him you love him and want him to come meet your family. Stop talking about the competition and the other girls and being afraid of failure. And Juan Pablo kisses her and Andi is calmed down again. What kinda hypnosis does he have over these girls?!?

Renee and Juan Pablo are having their one on one time (which we don’t see any of) and the other girls are freaking out about who’s going to get the rose. Clare says that the girl who gets the rose is a sure thing. And then she evilly grins, he better not give the rose to her!

Clare is the youngest of 6, which makes SO MUCH SENSE! She definitely acts like a baby. I think the other 5 are girls too, so it all comes together. Clare brings up the video that her dad made and I’m pumped! We gotta see this video!!!! For that reason and that reason alone Juan Pablo can keep her around. After Clare brought the dad story out, complete with tears, she mentions again that whoever gets this rose is a front-runner (with the expectation obviously that she was gonna be the one getting the rose.)

When Juan Pablo offers the rose to Andi, I think that Clare is going to kill Andi and Juan Pablo both. She has the fake smile on her face that has me more terrified than anything else. MAKE IT STOP!

Clare tells us in her video that she deserves something amazing because she’s been opening herself up and putting herself out there. Listen here Clare, NO ONE has asked you to open yourself up or put yourself out, in-fact we’d have preferred if everything would’ve stayed closed and put away when you were in the ocean! You made that choice sweetie, now you gotta live with it.

And she’s pissed that she’s watched other girls go on dates (yet didn’t we watch her get the second one-on-one last week, and she manipulated the group date the week before). On the plane as they’re leaving Juan Pablo & Andi, we see Clare cursing like a sailor who has to be bleeped out, and Renee and Chelsie are basically cuddling in the back seat so no one has to sit next to crazy Clare.

Oh and now we cut back to Juan Pablo and Andi and they’re in the ocean making out and now we understand that Clare is upset that Andi stole her move!

Wow Andi has on a sexy red dress for the second portion of their date. She makes it look real good! They are going to listen to Romeo somebody or another (a Latin singer). They then dance on a stage at the back of this club. Juan Pablo admits he laughs more with Andi then any of the other girls. I gotta admit it looks like a normal, fun date.

So that means we are going to cut-away from that and go back to the hotel. Clare wants to hang out with Nikki like she wants to get stung by a jellyfish. The girls can obviously feel the tension, Chelsie is giggling, Renee is smiling and as Nikki said Clare is checked out. I’d say Clare has the Stepford wife smile on. However Clare told both Nikki and I we were wrong, because she said she’s not checked out she just isn’t going to be fake.

Well Clare said that Andi got the rose because she needs that reassurance. Nikki (who we’ve seen hanging with Andi) gets mad, and says whatever and walks away from Clare. Clare then tries to ask the other 2 girls if she said anything wrong. I LOVE Renee, who just adjusts her hair to keep herself hidden from Clare. Clare feels she’s been disrespected and needs to walk up the stairs and talk to her.

Nikki tells Clare that she walked away because she felt the conversation was heading down a path where they were going to be talking shit about her friend and she didn’t want to be apart of that so she walked away. Well Clare wants to know however she got that idea. Clare, tune out some of other voices in your head and listen to the one that controls your mouth and you’ll realize what you said and how some (me & Nikki) could see it either the start of or is talking shit about Andi.

I love Nikki! I know many people don’t but gosh dang, if she’s gonna go up against crazy Clare, I gotta root for Nikki! She is completely honest. She said “I don’t like you Clare and we’re never going to be friends, so why don’t you leave my room.” Clare tries to throw it back in her face by saying “this is everyone’s suite” and Nikki ever the quick one “I’m sorry, is your stuff in this room?” Then they get into an argument about who’s paying for the room, that would be ABC, so it’s technically no body’s room.

Clare tries to pretend she’s the bigger person, but honestly I have to respect Nikki more. She walked away instead of wanting to get in an argument. Clare is the one who really brought the drama. Haha Nikki had another great line “Clare is like a dog. She peed on him first and claimed her territory, but it may not have been her territory to claim.”

All the different colors of the girls dresses for the Rose Ceremony are a wonderful collection of colors. Poor Chelsie thinks she stands a chance to get the rose, when we know she’s a goner! And she’s the one in the black dress!

I think it’s a good thing that this is the last time the girls will be together until the Women Tell All. They may kill one another!

Poor Renee! She has to be the person most excited to get away from these needy/catty/crazy girls! You can see that looks like she can’t believe she’s in the situation she’s in.

Now Clare is talking about how Nikki isn’t mature, and isn’t step-mom material. Pot meet Kettle!!!!

I’m impressed Clare and Nikki were able to stay as silent as long as they were. Andi looks like she wants to be anywhere but coming back to this couch, and now Renee is back and is trying to break the tension and it’s not working. Juan Pablo joins the awkwardness and thank God Chris Harrison breaks this up!

I’m curious about who would’ve been going home, had Sharleen not left on her own? I’m thinking it would’ve been Renee, but I could be wrong on that.

Alright roses go to:

Andi (on group date)

Nikki- after meeting his family, not a shock at all that he wants to meet her family

Clare- he likes crazy Clare, and I have no clue why!

Renee- We finally get to see what Ben her son looks like!

Sorry Chelsie! You’ve been fun, but you’re too normal for this show! Plus you haven’t kissed him since your one-on-one bungee jump date. You kissed when you were upside down and I don’t think you have since then. Not a good sign, sweetie! She can’t be shocked though after last week with her and Kat.

Juan Pablo is crying again like a baby. Clare looks at Renee and talks about how it was a huge mistake. Renee nods, but I’m hoping it’s a mistake because he didn’t choose Chelsie instead of Clare.

Chelsie is a gracious loser and talks about how she’s glad to date a good guy for once and wishes him luck as she leaves. Then she gets in the limo and the waterworks start. She is still positive though and is able to smile through her tears, so I have faith she can do it!

Woah! 2 day event next week! I wasn’t prepared for that! Monday and Tuesday! Monday is hometown, Tuesday is fantasy suite night! We know that Andi makes it to the final 3, but something horrible happens in the fantasy suite! WHAT IS IT!?!?! I think from looking at the previews that it may be Renee, Andi and Clare as the final 3, which surprises me because before the previews started I was going to say ,  4. Renee 3. Andi 2. Nikki 1. Clare. Obviously not what I want, but what my gut was saying.

Oh man, rest up kids, we got a BIG week next week!

Lindsay

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