Andi’s first dates and a Drunken Mistake

I’m so excited that we’re past the first cocktail party and are at the first dates. Let’s be honest, the Bachelorette doesn’t really start until the dates come out, so let’s bring them on!

It’s the morning after the first rose ceremony and Andi is so naive, innocent and feels great about all 19 of the guys left. Oh Andi, Andi, Andi you got some real pieces of work left, hopefully after these dates you’ll start seeing through these guys!

As we learned last year I believe, the guys all stay in hotels when they first get to LA and stay in the hotels the night after the first rose ceremony and move into the house the next day. Which makes sense with us getting rid of 6 guys last night and they’re all just getting out of the limo, it’d be even more awkward to have them have their suitcases out of the limo when they meet her. HOWEVER, that could probably tell Andi a lot about these guys, how many clothes, hair-products, etc. have they packed….that should be the twist for next season!

Goodness there is A LOT of fruit in that kitchen! When we see the guys bonding we have a view of the kitchen and on the island is basically a whole produce section of a grocery store! Then Chris Harrison calls all the guys into the living room. He asks what they think of the house and there’s lots of hoops and hollers, then he asks what they think about Andi and there is an awkward silence, then a few guys say hot, down to earth and then Harrison does what Harrison does and saves all the guys and talks about how awesome Andi is. He also gives the breakdown of the dates. He has the first date card, leaves it in the middle of the room and leaves.

Carl our fire-fighter picks the card up right away and reads it….and my heart breaks. Eric is the first date card, and he looks dashing in blue, and I’m so mad at ABC right now! I don’t want him to get the first date card. I don’t want them to make me fall in love with him even more, when I know there’s only a sad ending. I feel so bad for his family and friends as they are watching this, on Memorial Day of all days and how painful and fresh this has to be for them. I want him to be a jerk and I want her to kick him off after this date so we don’t see him anymore, because he seems awesome.

The date card says that love is everywhere and the guy that gets the first date card is usually a front runner. Andi walks in, says hi to the guys and comes in and gives them hugs, says a “have fun y’all” and they get in the car and leave with all the jealous guys behind.

As they are driving, they’re talking about Eric’s adventures, and you can tell he’s done a ton of travel and I’m glad that they are showing that and this normal conversation that is happening between two people. They pull up to the beach and Eric asks where they are and Andi says “this place is called the beach” and he laughs and sarcastic Lindsay loves it!

We’re at the beach, strip down to swimsuits and build a sandcastle and Eric is sweet and says they built their first home, which is a sandcastle. They fly kites, they make snow angels outta sand, Andi takes a picture as Eric backflips, then he holds her and turns her around in an attempt at a backflip. Then we have a helicopter come into the shot. For a minute I wonder if it is Emil crashing their date since he was a helicopter pilot. Since we don’t see the pilot, I am going to assume it is actually him.

Andi’s first helicopter ride, which seems weird she made it as far as she did on the Bachelor without a helicopter ride! They are both grinning and loving this ride. We were at the beach and now all of a sudden we’re in the mountains at the top of Bear Mountain. Eric is a gentleman and takes off his jacket to give to her to wear since she just has a bikini top on and just as I say he’s a gentleman he throws snow at her and they have a mini snow fight. It seems Eric and Andi both are surprised at realizing they’re going to snow board. Eric said he likes snow-bunnies and he seems super sweet.

I like that Andi is wiling to embarrass herself and not looks graceful. She’s willing to try snowboarding though she knows she won’t be great and she is not. Eric is quite good at snowboarding. They get rid of the instructor and Eric is able to be the one to show her how to do it and she actually does better with Eric then she did with the instructor. They are now drinking hot cocoa and Andi seems smitten with Eric and he seems smitten with her and my heart is happy and sad at the same time.

We end the date in a cabin and it seems very cozy and intimate. If he doesn’t kiss her, I’m gonna be super disappointed. She has given him the green light and this room is set up for romance! Plus they’ve been all playful all day and cuddling, so what more does he need? She refers to him as a Renaissance man. She then asks him if there’s anything he’s not good at. As a humble man should answer he says there’s lots of things he’s not good at. Our D.A. asks him to name 5 things he’s not good at, then changes it to 3 things as he won’t be able to find 5 things.

1. Bad at playing piano- she jokes he’s out then….then she asks if he can carry a tune and he says yes, and she rolls her eyes and says of course he can carry a tune, he asks her if she can carry a tune, she says no. He then tries and charm her by saying her snowboarding is pretty good.

2. He’s bad at skiing. Andi is good at skiing but she can’t stop, she just looks for a runaway….and Andi is distracted and he doesn’t finish his list.

He got the travel bug from his dad who hitch-hiked around the US for his Master’s Thesis. His arm is around the back of the couch, she lays her head on his arm, and at this point I’m way too invested in this guy. This does NOT seem like a first date to me. He is such a great conversationalist and you can see the chemistry. She better have chemistry with some of these other guys if she’s going to eventually throw him away, because right now he seems like the perfect guy!

Syria was the most dangerous thing about his life and was terrifying and he tells us about the scariest moment in his life. They target journalists which is what he does. The Syrians think that they’re spies and he said he knew he was going to die. They had men in-front of them with grenades and their guide says things are going to get bad. Eric gets his phone out sends a text to his parents to tell them goodbye and he loves them since he won’t be able to do it in person, (he’s getting choked up telling this story) the leader demanded to see his camera and know why they’re here, he says he’s trying to show that no matter what happens to the Syrians that they’re still happy, the leader throws the camera back at him and tells him to go back to Turkey. Andi’s mouth is gaping open, as is mine!

Andi asks him if he has a wife and kids would he stop his goal of going to the different countries and stop risking his life and he comes back with a line that got me “the biggest goal in life is to have a family.”

We’re back at the house and we’re with the date card that Tasos is reading out.

Brian (he let out too big of a whoop for me), Marquel, Bradley, Craig (has to be super drunk and wants a big cheers for his name being called out), Brett our hairdresser looks so uncomfortable and out of place, Patrick, Cody, Carl, Tasos, Josh, Ron, Marcus, Nick S and Dylan. “Let’s bare our souls.” Craig the drunkard is very excited about the idea of getting naked, dear Lord help us all!

Back to Eric and Andi……and goodness we’ve had a more substantial conversation in their first date than Nikki and Juan Pablo have still had. We’re going through his siblings, and who’s married and how many kids they have. Eric said in the last 2 years is when he’s realized he wants marriage and kids.

Andi said this was the perfect first date for her and said he’s been a gentleman and she appreciates it and asks if he’ll accept the rose and he says of course. And even though I know this won’t end well, I’m in my living room screaming at him to kiss her!!!! She mentions there is a fire and that she has a sweet tooth and they roast marshmallows. There is wine and he toasts to the best first date he’s ever been on and we fade into the fire and I’m super disappointed that we didn’t get the kiss! Eric seems like he was certainly worthy of the first kiss of the season, but I guess not….

Alright onto our first group date with 14 guys! Craig comes out of the bus screaming, and his talking head he’s talking about how he hopes Andi loves him because he loves her…and he’s a tax accountant? Memo to anyone living in Denver, DO NOT let Craig do your taxes!!!!!!!

All the guys come running up the stairs and escalators. Then they bombard her with hugs. We’re in a nightclub and it looks like our guys are going to be stripping. There are signs up that say the Bachelor gives back. Andi talks about how she was in an awkward scenario last season with the photo shoot but she asks them to keep an open mind….and now we get to see the guys attempt of dancing and showing off their stuff. Cody talks about how he’s been working on the body, so he’ll be excited to show it off for Andi. Tasos admits to practicing his dance moves in the mirror and he likes the attention…dear Lord we’re going to be in for quite a date, this is right up there with Des’ rap video they did.

Andi was smitten with Marcus (as am I, as long as he stays sweet like Drew!) and she’s making him the aviator and main star. She let’s the guys know that they’re going to be doing this in-front of a live audience.

Carl is part of the fire-fighter group and he knows his co-workers will be giving him crap about this since he actually is a fire-fighter. Cody is still super-excited to be stripping…and Craig is part of the sexy-cowboys (don’t be confused with anything else according to him) and his goal is to turn on some girls and make money for charity….shouldn’t someone remind him that he’s on THE BACHELOR so in this world he should only want to turn on one girl and forget the other ones exist! Craig says that Josh M. is a stud and has the whole package.

Nick S. our pro golfer is the sexy fat robot and I like him like that, because I can’t see his face or really hear his voice, so it’s a win-win! Brian is one of our army guys, and he’s in his costume swearing to his mom he’s going to church tomorrow morning after he does this routine. Cody refers to himself as magic Cody, kisses both of his biceps and says they’re for charity and then shows off his abs and says that those are for Andi…goodness!

Sharleen (opera-singer) and Kelly (dog-lover) are going to be help judge this for Andi. Sharleen will like the male opera singer and Kelly probably wishes JJ the pantsaprenuer was around so they could hook up with their non-existent jobs!

We’re bringing out the sexy cowboys first. Craig is still talking about nervous he is to be stripping next to Josh. Sharleen and Kelly tell Andi to check out the guys assets, which we’d just seen Craig enhance his a little bit. We have the sexy robot go a bit too far and Kelly covered Andi’s eyes and I have never been more thankful for the ABC censorship guy than I was in that moment, thank you lil black box, thank you!!! Now the fire-fighters go out into the crowd and get crazy. We have one guy get a little too close to Chris Harrison and he looks uncomfortable. Andi seems more into the Army guys then she has been the other ones. Marcus is freaking out for his solo performance and she’s telling her girls that she feels for him and how nervous he has to feel right now. He goes for it, the girls go crazy and Andi loves it!!!! Tasos and Cody go a little crazy with the crowd at the end.

We’re now at the after-party and I’m not a fan of how low-cut Andi’s dress is in the front. I also am not a fan of the bright yellow pants I see coming at me when we see the shot of the guys coming towards me. I know it’s either Tasos or Nick M and whichever one it is I don’t care, I HATE the yellow pants! (P.S. It was Nick M wearing them, but Tasos probably has the same pants).

Craig asks if we can do a cheers so he can have a drink. Andi calls him out on just going for it a bit quickly. Brian is the one who decides to go for it and takes Andi away from the rest of the guys, and Andi tells him she was super impressed with him and thought he’d be nervous but he wasn’t and that impressed her. His one regret was not going and dancing in-front of her.

Josh M. is the next one that we see and he has a few things to get off his chest, which makes me think he has a kid, but maybe not. Josh asks her to not stereotype him as a baseball player. She admits she’s always dated the athletes and so he’s a struggle for her, because he’s her usual type. Josh said he hasn’t gone out for a girl in 5 years. He tries to say that he’s shy….she likes that he called her out….and now we flashback to Craig still going on and on about how Josh has the most beautiful body and face and Brett looks super uncomfortable. Tasos is the voice of reason and is telling us how stupid Craig is being.

We’re back at the mansion and we have 4 guys wanting the date. We have JJ, Andrew, Farmer Chris and sweet sweet Nick. Farmer Chris is the one who gets the date “Let’s get our love on track.” We knew Nick wasn’t gonna get the date as he got the first impression rose, JJ is going to cry about not getting the date and not getting to spend any quality time with her for 2 more days.

Good God back at the group date and opera guy is singing to her and she looks kinda uncomfortable, but claps. Though let’s be honest she’s thinking that she needs to slip his number to Sharleen. 2 episodes in and we’ve heard him sing 2 times, not impressed Bradley, not impressed!

Craig is stupid drunk and he decides to go and look for her. He’s running around and looking for her and he finally finds her and at least he’s a happy drunk. He asks about the other guys and then asks who her favorite is and she sarcastically replies that he’s her favorite, but he doesn’t get that and instead says he needs to hug her as that is the sweetest thing. Andi says that he can ask her anything that he wants to know, she’s an open book….well as only a drunk person can do, he surprises her by asking her “what’s the worst thing about your parents?” You can tell she’s thrown for a loop, she laughs, looks over at the producers and doesn’t answer that.

Poor Brett the hairdresser gets his one-on-one time interrupted and then Ron and her are hanging out and she says it sounds like it’s getting crazy downstairs, he rolls his eyes and says that it is. As we hear Craig in the back-ground yelling Andi’s name. And Ron’s time is ruined as she looks down the balcony at Craig who just jumped into the pool. There’s someone else in the pool with Craig, while Craig went in with his clothes on the other guy stripped to a swimming suit, but I can’t quite tell who it is. Andi is not impressed though. I think our robot is the guy with him.

Andi has to completely cut her time short with Ron by needing to go and talk to Craig. The other guys are not impressed. The producers had to step in, get Craig’s clothes on and step in and take him home. Andi lectures everyone to say to have fun but she doesn’t handle these types of situations well and since these guys are still here standing on two feet she wants to forget about it.

Marcus in a move he stole from Arie, swoops in and rescues Andi and takes her away from the house and the drama. She calls him out on being an introvert and she says that she does see him. He talks about how in relationships he’s going to give everything, because tons of people settle instead of finding something heart-pounding.

She decides to give the date rose to Marcus and he is very happy about it, as am I! Hopefully this is the beginning of a great romance for them….please stay sweet and classy!!!!!!

Now it’s the morning and the guys are talking about the drama of last night and Farmer Chris is getting ready for his date today. He gets in a limo and joins her at Santa Anita Park which is a racepark. Andi is in 40’s glam. Chris substitutes his casual pink shirt for a pink dress shirt and a gray suit and bow tie. They are betting on horses, watching the horses race and cheering their horses on!

We have a random old couple “happen” to interrupt them and tell us they’ve been married for 55 years of marriage and that they have marriage advice…now don’t get me wrong they’re an adorable couple, but don’t act like this is a coincidence, it was planned out let’s just say that it was! And now we’re going to have millions of horse race analogies with love…ugh!

Farmer Chris seems super nice, but I’m kinda bored by their date…which probably means good things for him since I was normally bored with Chris and Des.

And Andi’s catch-phrase is not going to be “Et’s okay….” no with Andi it’s “STOP!”

Yes, Chris tells Andi he’s here for the right reasons. Farmer Chris seemed like he was going to tell a sob story, but then we found out it was just that he dated a girl his junior year in college, he then proposed to her later on and then they realized it wasn’t right. Farmer Chris said he knew in his gut it wasn’t right. He doesn’t want to settle and neither does Andi and they both are excited and are here for her and the right reasons and he was hoping that she was going to be the Bachelorette and that has her hooked!

Again, it’s not that I don’t like Farmer Chris, I just haven’t warmed up to him as much as I have the other guys, but I’m willing to give him a chance and am glad he’s getting a rose. He’s giving us Midwesterners a good name at the very least 🙂

YES!!!! Our first musical guest of the year, you knew this was coming! “This Wild Life” is the band that is playing a private concert for Farmer Chris and Andi.

FARMER CHRIS FOR THE WIN! He gets the first kiss of the season! He has more guts than Eric did, so more credit to him I guess. And now they’re swaying and just making out in-front of these 2 guys who are playing guitars and singing and pretending that they aren’t making out in-front of them. Farmer Chris also ends the dance by dipping her, so maybe he has more game than I gave him credit for!

We’re at the cocktail party and Andrew seems to be stirring up the drama, but don’t worry his bromance with Patrick seems to still be going strong, as he’s in a room with just Patrick and Tasos.

We got Andi in a sparkly black dress for our cocktail party. First guy of the night is Nick, and he gives her a date card that says “Andi let’s get things popping” and he opens up the champagne and she seems to be loving it. Nick is going for a real conversation which I appreciate. He asks her what she’s looking for and they agreed they’re looking for the genuine real connection and not to settle, which is what Nick’s parents have (hopefully they would with 11 kids). Andi said that they’re on the same page and that is hopeful for her.

Marquel gets one-on-one time with her and he has a horrible shirt/tie combo and dear Lord the socks are even louder! Now that Marquel doesn’t have the cookies, I’m not as enamored with him as I was the first date. He seems to be trying harder.

Brett the hair-dresser decides to do a puppet show with his socks, which seems gross.

Josh is certainly flirting with her and they are both very smiley around one another, I want to like Josh but I’m afraid he’s playing her and playing me. He’s rambling and you can tell that she makes him nervous, which I hope is true, and then he goes in for the kiss and she seems to be enjoying it. I am nervous about him though!

Craig decides he wants to talk to Andi and I think this is a bad idea. He gets a guitar out and starts singing to her and the guys decide to listen to him. His song is about the opposite of romantic, but he feels good about it. The guys laugh at him and I hope it’s not worth a rose because I don’t think he realizes he did anything wrong and that he won’t do it again.

Alright Rose Ceremony time!

Guys with Roses:

1. Eric—-I’m happy and sad about this at the same time

2. Marcus—–I love him and will take him if Andi doesn’t want him 🙂

3. Farmer Chris—–this episode I realize that he kinda reminds me of Ames from way back in what Emily or Ali’s season?

The remaining guys to get roses at the rose ceremony are:

4. Ron—-I’m happy about Ron! I hope we see more of him next episode, stinking Craig ruined our Ron moments

5. Dylan—-he’s evidently the guy who danced all up on Chris Harrison, but other than that I got nothing

6. JJ—–this is the classic, you didn’t go on the date, I don’t know enough about you yet to cut you, so you’re staying on for at least another week, but don’t get too comfy!

7. Marquel—-I still like him just would like him more with cookies 🙂

8. Andrew—-it disappoints me that he’s slimy

9. Tasos—–I do not think Tasos is the guy for Andi, but I do enjoy having Tasos around, as he seems a voice of reason and I see him in certain situations around drunk Craig and I realize he’s acting like I would be acting… if he’s a wedding coordinator he can eventually plan Andi’s wedding!

10. Josh——please do NOT become a douche, because I like you man and you have the potential to break her heart and my heart and that would be VERY BAD!

11. Cody—-awesome the meat-head makes it another episode…..sweet!

12. Nick V—–I just think he’s so stinking adorable! I need to see more of him next week too!

13. Patrick—-oh good the bromance can continue with Patrick and Andrew!

14. Brian——-after everything he did this week, he deserves this rose….he just reminds me so much of Braden from Des’ season, it’s hard for me to get on team Brian.

15. Brett—–mullet-man hairdresser gets a rose

and we’re down to the final rose!

16. Bradley—–we’re auditioning him for the male part of the opera that will be sung at Andi’s wedding….we need another episode to see if it will go well with Sharleen’s voice, hopefully he sings next week before he goes home so we can have all the footage we need!

So that means those without roses are:

1. Carl the fire-fighter, who decided to change his look yet again for the rose ceremony and wear hipster glasses and a shirt rolled up to the elbows to show off his tattoos. At least you were able to strip as a fire-fighter and keep your dignity up so your co-workers won’t have anything to make fun of you for…oh wait!

2. Nick the pro-golfer, We’ll see ya later, he’s trying to not freak and cry and can we remind him it’s been less than a week so he needs to stay calm!

3. Craig, it can’t be much a surprise that he’s leaving and the guys are happy to see him leave. And this makes me appreciate and like Andi more that she can see through that. No need for that drama in that house. And let’s be honest he was loud and obnoxious before that incident and that incident would happen again, so better to get rid of it now!

Previews for next week—–we have 2 night event! That starts on Sunday! We have Boys to Men singing with the boys, we have basketball. We have a guy accused of having a girlfriend and Andi is pissed off! Doors are slamming in our faces, guys running up stairs, lots of stares. Man, I didn’t even realize we’d have a 2 night episode so early in the season, get geared up everyone! This season is shaping up to be quite an exciting one!


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