Well summer is coming to an end. Isn’t it hard to believe at the beginning of summer we had the first episode of Andi’s Bachelorette season and here we are on the last day of summer and we’re coming to an end of our time on Bachelor in Paradise.
Alright we’re getting a recap of the rose ceremony and Sarah says it perfectly when she said that Christy & Jesse are just here to get drunk and don’t really have a connection. That is very accurate!
Michelle is being the voice of reason when she is telling Cody that he can’t love her after a week and that she’s not ready to be his wife, and she just wants to slow things down a little bit. Here’s the difference between Cody & Crazy Clare though, he doesn’t freak out, he just says that he’s willing to go at her rate.
Oh the producers of the show are really funny with the date-card, it’s for Marcus and it tells him to “Pick a Lacy to go on the date with you.” I like that they aren’t even gonna pretend that he’ll ask another girl. Marcus recaps that he’s told Lacy he loves her but hasn’t heard it back from her.
They are walking on this dirt path and it looks like they are running into a hole and there’s a ladder that they need to climb down and all I’m thinking about before they begin their descent is that this cave and hole are SUPER DANGEROUS and knowing how clumsy I am I’m thinking I would be the one who would fall and be trapped in this cave and it wouldn’t be romantic at all.
I also probably wouldn’t be the type to just strip and put on my swimsuit unless i had a life jacket like they do. As they are getting further in the cave Marcus is a brave gentleman that said “What the hell is that?” and he shines his flashlight on a side of the cave and we see a crap ton of bats that are flying around. Now should this be super shocking since they’re in a deep dark scary cave. Absolutely not. Would I be flipping out worse than they are, ABSOLUTELY! I also wouldn’t keep journeying thru the cave, or I would be going through it a lot quicker than they did.
Marcus & Lacy look as if they are drinking margaritas and I’m super excited about that. Lacy tells Marcus that she’s someone who doesn’t share her feelings with people because she’s afraid, but she’s willing to open up to him and tell him that she loves him. They make out and for some weird reason they show all these clips of birds, deer, monkeys, etc looking in the distance.
Hey guess what Michelle is crying again! This episode can officially count now! We see Meat-head Cody doing a work out routine that includes lifting a rock above his head, jogging in the ocean on the sand, doing chin-ups, he’s obviously in shape, but that’s his job as a personal trainer. Michelle is talking to Jesse of all people about how she’s feeling overwhelmed and doesn’t normally go for the big beefy type and she’s worried that Meat-head Cody is going to smother her. I’m confused because I don’t know if she’s worried that because he has so many muscles they’re going to smother her, or because he wants them to get married right now and that’s smothering.
Sarah is telling us that she’s Robert’s girl and she just wants to spend all her time with him and it doesn’t matter who comes into Paradise, she’s with him. Which of course means there’s gonna be drama with who’s coming down the beach and who is it but BROOKS from Des’ season.
You all remember Brooks, he’s the guy that Des cried on a dock for hours and hours over the fact that he left. He was in the final 3 and went home and talked to his mom and sisters after hometown dates and at that point decieded he didn’t love Des enough. We all were very concerned for Des’ state of mind and they had the LONGEST most awkward breakup where I felt super uncomfortable watching it and yelled at the TV repeatedly. Yes, that Brooks is back and he still looks good 🙂
Sarah is freaking out because she really wanted Brooks to come in because she’s physically attracted to him and really wanted him to come to paradise. But now she’s angry he came now because she has this thing going on with Robert. They all are standing around a circle and Sarah yells out asking him what’s on his date card. Well honey, that’s not really the way to blend into the woodwork….Brooks gets to choose a dinner date for tonight.
Brooks tells that he’s immediately drawn to Sarah. They sat next to each other on the After the Final Rose for Juan Pablo’s season. Well Robert can tell that Brooks is looking towards Sarah, because he comes up behind her and puts his arms around her shoulder and then tells Brooks that he’s not allowed to look in this direction at Sarah.
So here’s a theory that I saw on Twitter last week and I think it has some real validity. The theory is that each of the contestants had to fill out a questionnaire that asked them who they would most likely want to see in Paradise. This obviously isn’t the case for all, but it seems like lately each person that has been brought onto the show someone was very excited about and really wanted them to be on the show….I’m thinking that’s not much of a coincidence and the producers are just figuring out how and when to bring on certain people.
Zack steps in and tells Brooks that they need to go talk. So Zack, Robert and Brooks all go off. Graham is surprised that the 3 of them are friends, but I think all 3 of them are from Des’ season so that makes sense. Sarah has become a little vixen because she really wants Brooks to ask her out on a date.
Brooks is asking the guys who he should date. Robert tells Brooks that he has been spending a lot of time with Sarah and has gone on lots of dates with her and Robert tells him that if he asks her out he’ll kill him. While part of me thinks that sweet, the other part of me is like “leave it up to the girl to decide.” And I’m really conflicted in how I feel, though I have been liking Robert a lot more lately and he’s been faithful to Sarah when given opportunity to not.
Sarah tells Jackie & Graham that she really likes Brooks and wants to kiss his face. Then Sarah randomly starts to cry and Graham leans over to rub her shoulder and try to console her. Sarah in this moment becomes more annoying to me than she has the last couple episodes. I’ve seen her as the type of person who always complains that people don’t like her, but now that she has Robert liking her that’s not good enough for her and she needs Brooks to like her as well. I think Sarah is a perpetual Grass is greener on the other side type of person, and that’s disappointing to me!
Well we have Brooks put the bros before hoes a little bit and he asks out Jackie instead of Sarah. So I’m sure Zack isn’t happy with him, but he didn’t threaten to kill him like Robert did, so now he learned his lesson for next time.
Brooks and Jackie look very attractive together. Brooks is speaking what seems to be fluent Spanish at the restaurant. I am NOT a fan of Jackie’s head-dress headband thingy. Brooks tells corny jokes. Jackie tells Brooks that he’s quick-witted and she’s very sarcastic. Brooks keeps telling us that he thinks that Jackie is super cute. He tells us that he’s so smitten and isn’t paying attention to what exactly she’s saying.
What I find odd about this date is the fact that as they are having dinner and a conversation there is a lot of background noise because there are quite a few people in the restaurant having their own conversations.
Evidently Graham is the resident psychiatrist because Zack is now telling him that he really wanted Jackie to be in Paradise. And Zack thinks he should’ve done a move a la Robert, but he didn’t, so he now just has to think about what they’re doing on their date.
Brooks & Jackie are playing Foosball and the patrons in the restaurant are coming up and placing bets on them. Brooks make me laugh when the stakes are that he gets to kiss Jackie at the end of the date whether he wins or loses. She tells him she doesn’t normally kiss on the first date and his comeback is “Just on the lips! Not on the cheek or anything, just on the lips.”
Jackie wins and Brooks leans over and kisses her cheek to the chanting of the people watching. I like when they’re walking back to the house, Brooks gives his arm to Jackie and walks with her and gives her a hug at the end of the date.
Sarah is planning on breaking up with Robert so she can hang out with Brooks. They are on the beach. Sarah asks where she sees their relationship going in a week when we’re done with Bachelor in Paradise. Robert tells her he wants to take her out on dates and try this out in the real world. And somewhere in there he said the magical word because she turned from snotty b****y Sarah, to smitten Sarah. She’s grinning and talking about how they can have a romantic first date in LA. And now they’re making out.
Michelle just asks Meat-Cody to be patient and let her catch-up to him and his feelings. She wants him to be honest and she’ll be honest with him. Wow if Michelle wants him to slow-down she should think before she speaks and not give him the sign that she’s all in.
Oh yeah I kinda forgot about Christy and Jesse. Christy is telling us that he’s such a great nice guy. Well Jesse is with everyone in a room and he’s laughing all crude like and telling everyone he’s gonna go and hook up with Christy. Well Christy is now in tears because Michelle goes and tells Christy he’s not boyfriend material. He’s bragging about the things he’s done with both Christy & Lucy. Now don’t we all know what Lucy, Christy & Jesse did. However, Michelle is bringing up the date that Lucy & Jesse went on, and let’s just say things were not PG in the van on the way home for the 2 of them and Christy is UPSET! Evidently it was only okay when she was around, not when she wasn’t.
Wow Tasos comes walking down the beach and I gotta say Tasos looks good 🙂 He looks a lot better in a beach setting then he did Andi’s season. All the girls are drooling over him and all the guys are scowling, so if you don’t believe my opinion, that should be the proof that you need!
Jesse calls Tasos, taco because he’s a douche. Tasos pulls Michelle aside to talk and all the guys are secretly laughing at Meat-head Cody. They talk about how Meat-head Cody lives by the bro code and there are LOTS of references to Meat-head Cody being the incredible Hulk and how if Tasos asks out Michelle we’ll see Meat-head Cody go all incredible Hulk.
Michelle redirects Tasos attention from her onto Christy. Michelle tells Tasos that Christy would be looking for someone like him who’s a gentleman and they way he carries himself is in a respectable manner. Well then Tasos tells Michelle that she’s lucky she’s dating Meat-head Cody. They hug it out. Michelle goes and kissed Meat-head Cody, and Tasos asks Christy out.
Tasos and Christy are on a date and they have a secret handshake it looks like. I’m super confused by Christy’s swimming suit as it looks like a rope and that it wouldn’t really be comfortable. I’m also just drawn to her sunburn and how it has to be super painful. They are floating down a lazy river. Tasos is incredibly genuine and sweet and tells Christy that he wants to kiss her but he doesn’t want to rush her, so it’s up to her and I feel horrible for her because it seems like this may be the first nice guy that she’s gone out with!
Brooks & Jackie play Horse on the beach and seem to have a natural relationship. Zack finally gets a one-on-one date and is gonna ask Jackie to hang out. Graham mentions Ashlee and how she’s gonna be pissed that they don’t get to go on the date and it doesn’t bother him, but it is gonna really bother Angsty Ashlee. We also see Angsty Ashlee in the living room and I’m pretty sure this is the first we’ve seen of her the whole episode! She doesn’t disappoint though and gives us a great quote right away “I just want to express my ungratitude for that moment.”
Angsty Ashlee is throwing a tantrum on Graham’s behalf because he didn’t get a card and he deserves it, though he doesn’t care that he didn’t get one. All the girls are calling her out on it and saying it’s her that’s upset, not Angsty Ashlee. Angsty Ashlee cheers Michelle for being so amazing to her and Michelle is playing the game to her face but then is being bitchy behind her back. Michelle doesn’t trust her at all.
Jackie & Zack going swimming in a cave because everyone goes swimming and or in caves this episode. They are also drinking margaritas. Zack maybe said the magic words by telling Jackie that she’s someone he wanted to be in Paradise even before they got there and now she doesn’t feel like default girl anymore and feels special. He also is saying magical words by saying she’s normal, a breath of fresh air and good-looking. Jackie & Zack start making out, though it is technically the first date, so she allowed her no kiss on first date rule to be ignored.
Wow looks like we got quite a storm going on for the 6th rose ceremony. Angsty Ashlee has the Elsa from Frozen hairstyle down pat, even more so than Andi did when she tried it.
Jesse gives a speech about how grateful he is for the time he’s had in Paradise and he thinks he can call or email anyone here and they’ll be hanging out. You can tell Jesse is desperate and is going to try and manipulate Christy the best that he can.
But before we get to that, we see Zack getting his last talk in with Jackie. Zack gives Jackie a bracelet that he puts on her, she has to make a wish and eventually this bracelet will fall off and she’ll get her wish.
Brooks has a hideous shirt on and is hanging out with Jesse so there are quite a few strikes on him. For some reason Brooks & Jackie promised each other they would paint each other’s nails and Brooks brought red nail polish. He painted her nails and that made them laugh, but I feel like she has a better connection with Zack.
Christy & Tasos are talking and Christy wants to go slower with him than she did Jesse. They are laughing and Tasos again isn’t pushing her and is being a gentleman. So that means it’s time for Jesse to be on our screens again. He comes up and interrupts them to take Christy away. He knows that he needs Christy to give him a rose and he tells us in his interview “I’m not here to start a relationship with a dumb blonde, I just need a rose.”
So she has to feel awesome watching this back.
When Jesse and Christy are talking she said that she thinks she wants this to be stopped. However, she’s not confident when she’s saying this so it sounds like a question. So Jesse pounces on her and makes her feel inferior and like crap because he puts all the blame on her. It makes me super sad that she doesn’t have more confidence in herself and that she lets a jerk like him treat her like crap. She’s confused that he “broke up” with her. Let’s be honest he quit because he didn’t want to be embarrassed at a Rose Ceremony by not getting a rose.
Michelle said that if anyone were to treat her daughter this way she would torture him and then kill the guy with her bare-hands, which I feel like is acceptable. Michelle & Lacy are there for Christy and tell her that it’s not her fault. Michelle points it out that the heartbreaking part is that she doesn’t see her own value. Lacy points out that women allow guys to treat them like crap and that’s not okay and girls need to stick up for themselves and let guys know that they need to be treated with respect and I’m cheering on my couch that at least two people see the light and GET IT!
Christy opens up the limo door and is telling him off. Michelle & Lacy are standing to the side and making sure that Christy gets everything out that she needs to. Christy rightfully calls him a coward by leaving before he’s stood up at a rose ceremony.
Christy mentions that she feels like she’s manipulated a lot and she doesn’t get it. And I hope that she gives Tasos a chance because call me naive but I don’t think he’s going to manipulate her or play her.
Lacy now goes up to the limo and is very calm when she’s talking to him and tells him that he’s beyond disrespectful. Jesse tries to say that he didn’t mean to say anything bad about anyone. They tell him that he degraded the females he’s been with and that’s not right. He didn’t have any remorse for what he’s said or done and he eventually gets outta the limo and looks like a douche. Christy & Michelle do a shot after the confrontation. Jesse does a shot in the limo and thinks that all of them are his friends and they’ll all miss him, which most could care less if he’s there or gone.
Alright rose ceremony time!
1. Lacy gives her rose to Marcus and talks to him about how excited she is to be with him
2. Angsty Ashlee gives her rose to Graham
3. Sarah gives her rose to Robert and she’s falling in love with him
4. Michelle gives her rose to Meat-head Cody
5. Christy gives her rose to Tasos
6. Jackie is the only wildcard——–is she gonna give it to Zack or Brooks?
She gives her rose to Zack which I honestly think was the best choice for her, it seems like they do have a good connection and it was a little bit stronger than her connection with Brooks.
All the couples are hugging it out and toast to the last week of Bachelor in Paradise. Then Chris Harrison comes out of the shadows! He lets us know that this was the last rose ceremony & no more date cards! Everything is gonna change for next weeks last episode!
6 couples found love in paradise and things are gonna get crazy! There are tears and more tears! There’s a shocking conclusion! What more do we need?!?! Man oh man let’s get ready for a crazy conclusion!!!