Cry me a River—–Kaitlyn and her guys are still in Ireland

Okay, before we jump into the train-wreck that is this season. Let’s taken a minute to go back in the past and say congrats to Bachelor-Alum Zak Waddell who recently got married. You may remember him on Des’ season. He was the guy who didn’t have a shirt on when he came out of the limo and I thought was gonna be a real douche. He grew on me as he stayed on the show. He was a Catholic guy who had been in the seminary for a little while before deciding it wasn’t for him. I believe he made it all the way to hometown dates and dressed up in a penguin outfit and fed the kids sno-cones. Well Zak got married last weekend, and he still keeps in touch with his Bachelor peeps:

Yes that is the worst Bachelor in our storied history, Juan Pablo that I just retweeted…..but my favorite DREW was at the wedding! I still LOVE Drew!

Oh and did I forget to remind you of the most important fact about Zak, that his story is our friend Carly! You remember Carly! She was a cruise-ship singer, who ended up being more BFF’s with Farmer Chris than anything romantic. However, she did leave us with one of my favorite moments in Bachelor history:

If all of this walk down memory lane doesn’t remind you of how much I do like some of these contestants, and how much I’m not feeling this season I don’t know what else to do.

Alright, we’re in Kaitlyn’s hotel room where Shawn is sitting on the couch with her and she’s freaking out because he’s being too real with her, with there still being 9 other guys. Doesn’t he know this is the fun time?!?! There’s no consequences of actions or serious feelings for at least another episode of two! He asks her if she loves him and she’s floored! And she lies and tells him that she’s falling in love with him and he doesn’t know if he believes her or not.

Someone gave Shawn another beer to keep him talking. He’s talking about how he’s having a hard time with all the guys around, and the way Kaitlyn decides to handle it is kiss him and he begs her to not kiss him and actually to talk to one another which she hates! So she decides to make out with him and she hates disappointing people, but knows she did because she was intimate with Nick, which she doesn’t regret but is bawling and talking about how she feels awful….that makes COMPLETE sense.

Tanner is stirring the pot and giving us drama by telling Nick that Shawn hates him and was crying last night because Jared got the rose and Shawn had been in the front until Nick showed up and now Shawn feels threatened, at least according to Tanner.

A 2 on 1 with JJ and our country friend Joe. I’m rooting for Joe and JJ has to tell us about his biggest regret in life, because why would you not want that advertised to the whole entire world?!? No shame JJ, no shame! We’re on a boat in Ireland, I completely forgot about what country we’re in, since we’re still technically in the middle of an episode.

JJ decides it’s a great idea to tell Joe and Kaitlyn that he’s really falling for her. Joe is awkward and silent and is not going to fall for JJ’s trickery. Joe takes Kaitlyn away just the two of them. He has a lot to say to her, he feels passion and never has felt it this quick. He’s falling in love with her and they decide to kiss it out. He did everything he was supposed to, he opened up.

Now it’s JJ’s turn. He’s going to be completely honest and truthful. The hardest thing he’s ever told anyone is him telling the whole world. 3 years ago he cheated on his wife and he lost his wife and his daughter full-time. Wow, I wasn’t expecting something that real and genuine, I’m actually impressed with JJ. Kaitlyn tells him that her biggest fear in a relationship is being cheated on, but she feels he learned his lesson and won’t cheat on anyone again.

I gotta say this is a very quick 2 on 1 and I’m actually impressed with both guys and feel like Kaitlyn does have quite a choice. Let’s face it, neither of these guys are in her final 2 so it doesn’t really matter who she keeps. I also have to admit, this 2 on 1 wasn’t nearly as exciting as our last 2 on 1 date:

She ends up breaking up with JJ right away and tells him goodbye. She’s not ready to give the rose to Joe yet, but she does want to keep hanging out with him. Kaitlyn and Joe are in a boat sailing off into the sunset and JJ is left crying on a beach alone. Don’t worry buddy, Clint will be waiting for you with open arms!

JJ and Kaitlyn are hanging out and having dinner now. At this point if she can’t give me a rose right away, I think I’d be pissed and would just leave right then. If you can’t say you want me for sure, what’s gonna change your mind? Do you need someone to cuddle with on the boat and need someone to make out with tonight and that’s why you kept Joe?!? That’s what it seems like to me at least.

Shawn evidently thought he was signing up for the Bachelor and didn’t realize that he was going to be on the Bachelorette and competing with other guys. He’s losing it and needs to keep his head in the game. Kaitlyn thanks Joe for being patient and not needing validation and rewards him by making out with him some more.

Joe comes back in the house and has a huge grin on his face and all the guys call him out on it. He talks about the alone time they had on the couch… anyone else noticing a theme with the dang couch and her?!?!

Shawn notices the theme and is not impressed and storms outta the room. We need Shawn to leave now, or he’s gonna go completely mental. He leaves the room again to go up to Kaitlyn’s room.

Kaitlyn is doing her one-on-one interview with the camera and talking about how emotional her day is. She finishes her sentence and the producer stops her by saying that he was just told in his ear that Shawn is on his way over. And here’s how I know Kaitlyn isn’t here for the right reasons, because when she’s told that, her first reaction is to roll her eyes. She then looks pissed and then looks up to the sky.

I’m sorry, but really??!? Yes, he may be a little crazy right now. But he’s crazy about you. And you’re the one driving him crazy! You are telling him that you’re falling in love. You’re making out with him. You’re telling him he has nothing to worry about, but he knows in his gut he does. Is it a little insane, ABSOLUTELY! However, Kaitlyn, you’ve been in this boat before, you know the pressure he’s under and going through more than I do on my living room couch, but I have a hell of a lot more sympathy for the guy, and this is potentially your future husband, I am not impressed honey, not impressed at all!

She’s freaking out that Shawn knows about Nick and starts bawling. She knows he knows and he’s going to leave and she’s so frustrated and can’t believe that he would leave. She is crying hysterically and doesn’t want to answer the door. I’m sorry, but again BIG WARNING SIGN if you don’t want to see the guy you’re dating. JUST BE HONEST WITH HIM!!!!

Instead, she has him sit on her couch and talks about how she’s had the hardest/roughest 24 hours ever and just starts whining and I feel like manipulating him. She’s using his feelings to her advantage so she doesn’t have to share anything with him.

Shawn is honest with her and she’s upset that he brings up the time they talked off camera. He said that the stuff they said off camera meant so much to him and he’s basically having a hard time reconciling that Kaitlyn with the Kaitlyn he’s seeing right now. She starts to cry and he’s uber confused…..

And instead of explaining herself like a grown woman and saying she made a mistake and broke his trust by sleeping with Nick 2 nights ago, she hugs him and is relieved that he’s not onto her. She’s worried that he needs this much reassurance and he doesn’t know about Nick, but Katilyn is gonna live by the motto: Ignorance is bliss for Shawn. And by the time he finds out the truth, with all the country watching these episodes and coming off as crazy, she won’t be anywhere around! Sorry Shawn, sucks to be you!

I mean sure, why not a rose ceremony now?!? Kaitlyn has lots of regrets, but her biggest one is not sleeping with Nick, but rather that she has given reassurance to Shawn. She’s emotional, confused and had a really rough week and she can’t even look at Nick as she’s giving her speech about her heart being open. She is all teary eyed, nervous and sitting with the guys all in the room. Luckily Ben Z decides to steal her away and he goes in for the kiss!

They are all trying to figure out the conversations that could’ve put Kaitlyn in this mood. Shawn is taking all the brunt of this and feeling guilty. However, Nick keeps playing it cool and talking about how great his one-on-one date so he knows it wasn’t him that put her in this mood, so everyone else should be nervous.

Ben H shows why he was one of my favorites when he steals her away to a library! She of course needs to eat his face before he can get a word in. Well he wants to have a conversation and she gets angry once he decides he wants to talk. We know Kaitlyn hates to talk and just wants to make out.

Ben talks about their date they had with a wonderful time in San Antonio. Then he said there was a cocktail party that didn’t go well and him and Shawn were really not happy. Then she snuck down to their hotel room to talk to them after the cocktail party. He loved seeing her and knew she had the best of intentions when she came in. It was time to go to the airport, so he evidently showered and then came back in the room and could tell the vibe was different. Something happened when he was gone. Shawn was happy and he knows something happened in that time. He hasn’t talked about it with Shawn, or anyone else. He knows Shawn has talked to her about it….and now she’s on edge and feeling cornered! She’s super confused and can’t get a thought out.

You can tell that she’s trying to figure out what he knows. Kaitlyn, you’re HORRIBLE at keeping secrets. She’s trying so hard to not give her and Nick away that she’s sounding crazy. Ben H. just tells her that he knows that she reassured Shawn when he wasn’t in the room. He could see their connection even when he was in the room with the 2 of them. It didn’t feel good and wasn’t fun and that’s what upset him. It’s hard to see her around the other guys. He just wants to know he isn’t spinning his wheels and just here by himself. He wants to know she’s gonna do something.

Kaitlyn is saying that that night altered everything for her and not in a great way. She was trying to do a sweet gesture off camera and it was a weird dynamic and it didn’t work out the way she wanted it to in her head. She’s disappointed that she put them in that weird situation. Ben, if you only knew what was gonna come at you with this whole Nick thing! Instead of saying anything, Kaitlyn decides it’s a great idea to just make out some more.

Alright, now it’s time for Kaitlyn and Nick to sit down next to one another. They’re still holding hands, and she’s nervous. She’s not making out with him. But they aren’t talking. They’re just looking at each other. Kaitlyn wants to make sure he keeps his mouth shut about them sleeping together. She mentions how great their chemistry is and she doesn’t want him to mention how romantic the date was…..yes because we aren’t taping a television show in-which they will see it…and Nick is known for keeping his mouth shut after sleeping with the Bachelorette (ahem, After the Final rose last season with Andi!) Speaking of how well keeping secrets about what happens on the show goes in real life, here’s a tweet from Andi’s ex-fiance Josh, on his thoughts on Kaitlyn telling the guys….it’s gonna come out anyways, better to hear it from the horse’s mouth!

All of a sudden Nick starts crying because they were intimate and now he’s attached and Kaitlyn is now freaking out about all the guys who are attached to her. He tells her that he’s here for her and just wants to be with her and doesn’t want all the rest of this stuff. He doesn’t let her talk, he asks if he can kiss her instead, which of course she’s all over! His man-tears won her over and she is all about him, anyone else and she’d be freaked out, but she’s freaked out by Shawn.

He admits he’s over-analyzed and got in his own head. She tells him that she regrets sneaking over to see him because it’s put a strain on them and she’s to blame. So now he’s reassuring her and I’m so pissed and yelling at the tv, because Shawn is WAY MORE understanding than she deserves right now. She needs to open her freaking mouth and BE HONEST!!!!!!!

We’ve got a rose ceremony……FINALLY!

Alright recap for who has roses, because honestly who can even remember?!?

1. Nick
2. Jared
3. Joe

3 roses to hand out tonight and they’re going to:

4. Ben H
5. Chris
The 6th and Final rose: Shawn

Which means that Tanner my KC boy and Ben Z the biggest/sweetest teddy bear are going home. Kaitlyn should’ve kept them and sent home Jared and Nick, but obviously we don’t have the same taste in guys! Poor Ben Z was completely blindsided and even in his exit interview he has nothing but nice things to say about her!

Jared and Kaitlyn are going to take a road-trip and drive to the country side of Ireland together. Kaitlyn doesn’t want drama so she takes the “safe” choice with her. Kaitlyn is a horrible driver evidently, she keeps hitting the curb and panicking about driving on the other side of the road. They have to document it by taking selfies! They go up to kiss the Blarney stone. They pull up to Kaitlyn’s hotel which is a castle and she’s ecstatic because it’s haunted by a Queen. They get champagne and sit on her bed and make-out. SHOCKING! Jared loves how transparent and real Kailtyn is.

The other guys are in a big bus and will be following behind them. Shawn is sleeping and snoring and the other guys are not happy about it. The guys get out of the bus and are so excited to get off the bus! They get to their hotel and their room. Jared’s date is over and that means Chris Harrison is stopping by! We’re talking about hometowns being next week.

Harrison asks Kaitlyn if she’s honestly ready to go home and meet 4 families. Kaitlyn said she made a mistake in San Antonio with Shawn and Ben H…..she was disappointed in herself for what happened with Nick and she tells Chris Harrison that she regrets it! Harrison calls her out and said that she has had off camera time with some of these guys, well she needs to up her ante and get off camera time with some of the other guys, get us some more drama, escalate a few more relationships and then we’ll talk some more!

The Fantasy Suites and Exotic dates are for that. So Harrison wants her to get it down to 3 guys this week and then do the Fantasy Suite dates and then the final 2 men she’ll meet their families. That way everyone will have had off-camera time with her before Hometowns. Harrison wants an even playing field before families come into play.

We’re going to cut our guys from 6 to 3! Harrison tells us that these are pivotal dates coming up! If there’s anyone who she wants to go home she should tell them now. That’s a little awkward that we’re going to have the Fantasy Suite dates, which she’s been honest and told us what’s gonna happen in those and then go and meet the families right away after that.

The guys are all talking and in walks Harrison. He tells them that the rules have changed! The guys are freaking out about how they’re gonna be split in half! Of course Nick can’t help the grin that he’s biting his lip to hide.

Chris our dentist is the one who’s name is on the card for the first one-on-one date. They get to go on a helicopter date and then have a picnic on the cliffs of Moore. They make-out on the cliffs. Kaitlyn decides she needs to think about if each guy is going to be her husband. She asks Chris what everyone’s thinking about 3 roses this week. Then asks him the most real question that she has asked all season! She asks what their future would look like, would they be in Nashville? He said that he loves Nashville, partially because it’s a great place to raise a family, but they would still have adventures and have fun. He asks is she’s freaking out and she admits that she’s freaking out a little bit, but knows that they’re freaking out too. Everything is real. She asks him how he is and he says he’s equal parts joy and terror. He then notices she’s freaking out so he asks about her.

She’s crying and talking about how she enjoys sitting with him and always has. She has a checklist and he meets all those requirements. She promised herself that she wouldn’t lead any relationship on if she doesn’t see someone being with them forever. He tells her that he sees where this is going. He tries to convince her that she’s scared because she feels that something is wrong with her because he seems like everything she wants in her life but it’s not adding up. He stands up, hugs her, one last kiss and she’s ugly crying her way down the hill and he’s watching her go and then he starts ugly crying as he watches her fly away and leave him on the cliff. He’s glad it’s now and not a year from now or 20 years from now. He said something very intelligent when he said that she deserves a lifetime of happiness but he doesn’t know if she’s ready for it, if you look at her she’s a mess. He goes from his interview, to having to sit down on the cliff and ugly cry into his scarf and be pissed that he’s not holding it together.

Alright and on the depressing note, we’re done with this episode. We see the previews for next week, which are meant to lead us to believe that she admits to sleeping with Nick. However, the previews made us think she’d fess up to it this episode, so I’m still not buying that it’s going to happen. We may not hear the guys reaction until the Men Tell All, which I’d be okay with because we will hear them!

My prediction for the final 3 guys that hopefully we’ll know about by the end of the episode next week are:

2. Shawn——I do still like him, though he’s quite intense
3. Ben H——think he’s my actual favorite and I hope the Bachelor!

Alright until next week, don’t go holding your breath that we’ll hear the truth from Kaitlyn!



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