Most HONEST Men-Tell All EVER?!?!

Alright, night 2 of our Bachelorette extravaganza! It’s time for JoJo’s Men to tell ALL!!!

They decide to show us the behind the scenes, and the guys getting ready in the trailers and then Chad gets his own intro by getting outta a car and  the camera pans up as he is whistling.

Alright, Harrison comes on to kill some time. He tells us this will be the most dramatic Men Tell All of time. We also get a preview of Bachelor in Paradise and I’m ecstatic that this show is going to be on! I’m so excited for this show!!!!

Okay, now we’re back from commercial and we’re meeting the guys who are here. We have:

  1. James S.—Superfan, thank God for the note under his name b/c I wouldn’t have been able to tell you who he was.
  2. Grant—-FIREFIGHTER!!! Love me some Grant!
  3. Ali—not to be confused with short Alex, don’t really remember him, but he’s PUMPED to be here!
  4. Brandon—Hipster, again thank God for the note, he looks a lil more aware of where he is and not as hipster as he should.
  5. Christian—ahhh good he did make it, hopefully someone is watching his brothers, and he gets to sleep in a lil bit before wakin up at 3 to go to the gym
  6. Nick B—Santa Claus
  7. Derek—awww Jim Halpert, as sweet as ever!
  8. James F.—I was a fan of James F and his flannel shirts!
  9. Daniel—Canadian male model who was bros with Chad
  10. Jonathan—yeah nope, nothing
  11. Vinny—barber who stuck around way longer than he should’ve
  12. Evan—ugh awkward guy who’s nose bled and wants Chad to get him a new shirt and he just annoys me
  13. Wells—Wells evidently is okay with Evan because he has his big grin, so maybe I’m okay with Evan because we all know that I LOVE WELLS!!!!!!
  14. James Taylor—singer/songwriter, guy too insecure for his own good
  15. Alex—poor guy was in the middle of the other guys who had the girls going crazy, it was noticeable after Wells and James Taylor reaction the crowd was quite for him and then got loud again for Chase and Luke. Short man syndrome is gonna be out in full force!
  16. Chase—JoJo “Chased” after him last night, hold your head high final 3
  17. Luke—he’s still looking good, and doesn’t look as shell shocked, and is still just as handsome as ever!

Chad is here but he’s not on set with the guys…the crowd cheers and Wells tells them not to cheer and I swoon even more seeing him on my screen. They show us a recap of the season, and believe it or not most of the “highlights” are of Chad losing his cool and the other guys reactions. Bonus, we do get Alex in the really big tall chair….and then we have Alex going after Chad.

Wow, we also hear Luke say that Derek is the snake in the grass, back-stabbing type of guy…..which is interesting, since the two of them have hung out post-show according to Twitter.

We first get to talk about the difference between Alex and Derek and the confrontations that they had. Derek gets to speak first and tells us that him and Alex are completely different people, which is why I’m a fan of Derek and not so much of Alex! Santa tells us that Alex is manipulative and an instigator, but DANG-IT WELLS! He sticks up for Alex and tells us that he’s gonna go to his defense because he’s friends with everyone and Alex is a war hero who should be celebrated for that but also to understand his whole adult life he’s been in conflict…idk what that means, but if Wells knows and defends him there must be some good in Alex that ABC decided to not show us that side of him.

Luke talks about how he was in the military as well, and the crowd goes wild. Luke said as a young Marine you’re taught to fight or flight and as a marine you’re fighting. With maturity and let’s be honest probably more distance from your time serving, you are able to get acclimated back into our culture and society and “social norms” that make the rest of us feel more comfortable. Since Luke is older he’s able to slide into that role and Alex will get there, he’s just younger and more fresh outta that situation in which I cannot understand at all, but do completely respect and am thankful for. With this knowledge that Luke and to some extent Wells gave us, I can know appreciate Alex (& Luke) in a new and different way instead of just as a pompous jackass.

Okay, now Daniel is talking about how insecure the guys are and that they all loved JoJo after spending 5 minutes with her and the only real and genuine one here is Chad. Daniel, have you never seen the show?!? You get engaged while the Lead is dating 25 other people at the same time, and you have just as much time with her as does the runner-up and all that time MAY equal a week or 7 days over an 8 week period and that 7 days is if you’re lucky and most of the interactions are producer driven, the only alone time you have is in the fantasy suite. So yeah, it’s not a realistic show.

Evan needs his 15 mins of fame, so he decides he’s safe since he’s in the middle of all the guys someone will defend him if Chad wants to beat him up. He talks about how Chad got all beefed up on steroids before the show, and then hit the wall when he was in the mansion because he didn’t have the steroids anymore and his hormones were all outta whack…he just throws it out there unapologetically. They talked about how he was threatening and people didn’t know what he would do.

Speaking of Chad, let’s bring him out to talk to the guys because he was really the only drama we had on this season, now that we talked about Derek and Alex. We get Chad’s highlight reel of his time on the show. We see him and JoJo talking about his mom and how she passed away 6 months ago. Then we see him being a douche.

Chad comes out and talks about how he had issues with the guys from the first night because it seemed like a giant frat house where no one was being real or honest. He was the only honest one in the house. Harrison asks if he still feels that way and he does, he points to the guys and says: “Chase- vine guy, Alex-model, James-singer, Wells-radio show” All of these guys are trying to do something in the entertainment industry and just looking for a way to make it into the business.

Wells gets a lil pissed and calls out Chad and asks him what a luxury real estate agent in Tulsa does. And calls him out for not having a job. Then Chad comes back and says to not make him talk about Wells girl….who’s Wells girl?! Can we please talk about her?!?! Wells drops his head to his chest, so there’s something there.

Grant then calls him out as Chad is sitting up there and shuts James Taylor up by saying he has dirt on him. Grant says he can sit there with a cocky-ass smile on his face, but his actions after everything aired speak more about the character of who he is. Chad went after Robby’s ex girlfriend, Grant’s ex-girlfriend, obviously Chad had a vendetta over these guys and went for it.

Santa Claus stands up outta no where and takes his suit coat off and is wanting to fight Chad. Nick talks about how he’s a coward and is behind empty threats. Obviously nothing happens here, it was a producer ploy.

Derek then tries to stand up for himself against Chad and Chad shows he’s a bully and a jackass. He won’t let Derek get a sentence out. He tells him he’s too sensitive and needs to live in the real world if words hurt his feelings. Ummm yeah, words hurt feelings, that IS the real world Chad! Derek points out that Chad has tried to hurt many people’s feelings on this show and afterwards by his actions and somehow Chad tries to say he didn’t, tho we all know that’s why he “dated” Robby & Grant’s exes. He just put pictures of them on Instagram making out and making it obvious that they do not share the same morals that my friend Becca from Chris & Ben’s season had.

Chad shows that he needs to hide behind his humor to not get his feelings hurt. He needs to use funny voices to imitate the guys.

Chad talked about how him and Jordan would have normal conversations, about life, but once the cameras turned on and were on them, Jordan would stop in mid conversation and look away so it’d look like Chad was talking to himself. Chad doesn’t believe that Jordan is there for the “right reasons” and isn’t sincere at all. You gotta appreciate his candor, he talks about how Jordan is using this to get into media, he already has a sportscaster job and his ex-girlfriend talked about how he’s usin this to be famous.

Now we get to hash out Evan & Chad’s altercation with the ripped shirt. We get a slo-mo replay of Evan shoving Chad and find out that Evan did actually push Chad, but that’s basically like a gnat in a human’s face, so you know it doesn’t justify punching a wall or ripping a shirt.

Wells gets to be the voice of reason and he said that he feels bad for Chad, he has to have these ghosts follow him around for the rest of his life. He feels bad for the other guys because the rest of the world didn’t get to see how awesome the guys are because they were all consumed with this black cloud hanging over them and dealing with that (aka the producers knew that was the most intriguing part of the season, so they didn’t show the boring parts.)

Chad tries to interrupt Wells, but I’m impressed by how many people actually wanna hear from Wells, because they keep trying to shush and let him finish his thought. He’s more articulate than I even gave him credit for, I’m sure that’s what makes him a great radio deejay.

He gives words of hope to Chad by saying “that what America loves even more than tragedy and conflict, they love to forgive and give people a redemptive story, and he hopes that he takes the opportunity to do this.”

Chad tells us that if his mom would’ve seen the show she would’ve loved it and found it hilarious. She may have told him to not say some of these things, but she would’ve supported him. Chad tells us that he doesn’t regret 99% of the things that he did.

Alright we’ve finally survived the Chad show!!!!

Luke is in the hot seat. We see his highlights, I kinda forgot that he rode up on the white unicorn and came up to her. We say a montage of their dates and hear how he’s a cowboy but they have the passion and chemistry. Seeing Luke’s montage reminds me of what a horrible mistake JoJo has made by keeping Jordan and Robby. I’ll be Luke’s cowgirl!

Luke is definitely on his audition to be our next Bachelor. I think if this was a quick turnaround like the Bachelorette is taped right after the Bachelor he’d be it. Since there are a few more months before taping begins they can take a little bit more time.

Luke is articulate of his feelings and his experience on the show. He’s older so I could see him being an ideal Bachelor because I think he’d take the role seriously. He talks about how he knows he loved JoJo because all he wants is for her to be happy. He knows that he held back and didn’t verbally tell her things and thinks he should’ve been more open earlier. JoJo has taught him to love again. He went through this situation and is ready to love again. He’s a hopeless romantic and he’s looking for a once in a lifetime moment to say I love you, which means you NAILED your audition Luke! You very well could be our Bachelor!

Chase is next in the hot seat and let’s be honest I think he’s Luke’s biggest competition for being the next Bachelor. We see his montage of dates. Oh man, I forgot Chase was the one on the awkward hot yoga date.

Chase talks about how he was blindsided by getting sent home. He normally is a good read on people and he didn’t see that coming. He doesn’t regret telling her how he feels now. He talks about how he closed himself off basically to preserve himself. He is upset that she said they were going to go to the fantasy suite and then get sent home, why not just send him home earlier?!?

Alright JoJo is back! I wonder if she had a cheat sheet where she was able to see the seat map and who was sitting where because there’s no way she remembers at least 10 of those guys! She talks about how she’d never broken up with a guy previously to this, but she obviously got good at it.

Luke asks JoJo if he’d been more direct in how he felt would that have changed things? JoJo talks about how Words of Affirmation is her love language and he said he was falling, but JoJo is evidently a very literal person as well because since he didn’t use the “L” word she didn’t know if he meant it or not. He tells her that all he cared about is that if she’s happy he’ll be okay, when he’s telling her this, I’m attempting to read her body language and I don’t know if she’s happy or not with her current situation, she doesn’t look like it to me, and maybe that’s because she’s facing 17 ex-boyfriends.

Chase comes up and sits next to JoJo. He asks about why the fantasy suite if she wasn’t sure. She tells him that she doesn’t think she handled it correctly and she still feels guilty about the way she let him go.

James Taylor talks to her and said he’d had questions coming into tonight, but he doesn’t ask any of the questions, he instead panders to her and her Words of Affirmation and tells her that she was the most beautiful, smartest and sincere in this whole process and they were lucky to have her as their Bachelorette.

Of course after something sweet we need to go to Chad. Even her seeing him sitting there with the other guys you can tell she’s annoyed. Chad decides to take this moment to fly his douche flag real high but he’s gonna get all the dirty laundry out there for everyone to see. He says that he knows that Robby broke up with his ex days before filming, which is what we’d already figured out based on the schedule of filming and when he said they broke up. He then says that Jordan is a liar and cheater who’s older brother won’t even talk to him, which again is something that we don’t know. JoJo tells Harrison that she could go off on him right now, but she’s not going to because he wants the attention and likes getting a rise out of her. The guys all then get up and give her a standing ovation (sans Chad).

Alright, we made it through another Tell All, the guys behaved themselves, but this may have not been the most dramatic, but with Chad not giving any craps, I may say this has been the most Honest Tell All we’ve ever had.

We get the preview of next week’s final rose on Monday, when JoJo is going to choose between Jordan and Robby.

So here’s an article that ESPN tweeted. This is what Aaron Rodgers had to answer on his first day of training camp when he’s preparing for his actual job. He has to deal with his brother airing their dirty laundry for the world to know, but I think he handled it as diplomatically as possible. I especially love the language about how Jordan attempted a career in the NFL, this is a sports website that isn’t gonna sugar-coat it.Jordan you didn’t turn down the NFL, the NFL turned you down.

My prediction is the same as it has been basically since night 1, she’s choosing Jordan, because of his name and the status that he could potentially give her, they aren’t gonna last. I wouldn’t be shocked if they still aren’t  together. I’m actually hoping they aren’t and we can see the drama of them arguing in the After the Final Rose…if we don’t get that at least we’ll get Bachelor in Paradise beginning on Tuesday!

Until then, have a great week!

Lindsay

 

 

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