Alright, we’re back to the Bachelor mansion! I can’t lie guys, this is a tough season to get really invested in. Arie is a pretty boring Bachelor! He doesn’t have a strong sense of humor or much of a tv presence so it’s hard to get real invested in him. He’s almost trying too hard that he’s not relaxing and having fun, so it’s hard for the viewer to be at ease watching him…..or maybe that’s just me!
Who you guys should listen to because they’re entertaining and actually share a lot of the same thoughts about the Bachelor that I do, is Ben Higgins & Ashley I. They have a Podcost called Almost Famous. Ben was the only Bachelor that I was able to root for the entire way from when he was announced as the Bachelor, to when he proposed to Lauren to when they broke up. I love that guy! Ashley I is the girl who cries all the time and is in love with Jared and went on the most epic 2 on 1 date in my mind in Bachelor history:
Ben and Ashley are great, they do their podcast even when the Bachelor is not on, and it was announced they’re the cast of the Bachelor Winter Games which will be going on in February. I guess they’re taking a break of showing new episodes of the Bachelor when the Olympics are on and will be showing the Bachelor Winter games instead….it’s gonna be hard to jump back into Arie’s season, I think.
Okay, I’ve stalled enough, let’s get to the episode. These girls are recapping us on the fact that there are still 18 of them and that’s a lot. We only sent 3 home last night, why didn’t we send more home?!? That does mean as you’re having this love fest about wanting to send someone home, you’re probably sitting next to the girl that you want to send home, but you’re besties after 4 days of living together, you’d NEVER want to send her home!
Bibs and Krystal still hate each other and Krystal is gonna steal all the time she can with Arie and doesn’t care what any of you say!
Alright Harrison is here to give the girls a pep talk, tell us we have 2 group dates and a one-on-one date and drop off a date card. Group date card time! “It’s all about the ring”
- Maquel—-came in the race car night one and hasn’t done much since
- Jacqueline—–I liked her night one, she was asking him a bunch of questions and seemed very real and like it was hard for her to believe she was here, no group date last week so I don’t know a whole lot more about her.
- Lauren B—–I’m pretty sure this is the first time she’s ever been on my screen
- Tia—-best friends with Raven
- Marikah—–owns the restaurant with her mom
- Bekah—–young lil pixie girl that Arie is falling in lust for real quickly
- Bibs—-is she going to talk to him tonight or just get angry that other girls are stealing him and her time with him?
- Krystal—-and in the least shocking development Krystal and Bibs are on a group date together
We’re at GLOB—-Gorgeous Ladies of the Bachelor and we’re going to wrestle in-front of a live audience this evening. I’m loving Jacqueline because she told us that wrestling may not be a great idea with girls that already have animosity towards one another, they very well could kill one another.
We have 2 professional wrestlers that are trying to teach the girls to wrestle. One of them goes after Bibs and asks her what her name is and how to spell Bibiana and then asks if her mom knows how to spell and has her in tears, talking about her mom. Then they get in Tia’s face and she’s in tears and doesn’t want to be talked down to, which I don’t blame her.
Bekah is stirring the pot and causing more drama by making fun of Bibs and Tia crying, of course she doesn’t say it in-front of Arie, she says it when no one else is around, that’s why I can’t be fully on team Bekah.
Arie gets to wrestle in-front of the studio audience as well. He gets to wrestle Kenny the professional wrestler, single dad from Rachel’s season. Arie keeps getting slammed into the mat, but of course in Bachelor magic he ends up winning the match.
We’ve got Bekah dressed as a sex kitten going against Maquel the lunch lady…..yes you read that correctly, read it again and then picture Bekah in a spandex leather jumpsuit with a whip and poor Maquel in a baggy t-shirt dress. drawn on huge mole and hair net…..the producers are bitches poor Maquel, this is our sign that Maquel ain’t making it to the top 4, there ain’t no way they’re putting a top 4 girl in that outfit! Maquel does beat Bekah, but it ends up it doesn’t matter, we’re not doing a tourney style, we just have 4 matches for people to wrestle.
Alright it’s the after party of the night. Krystal is the first one to grab Arie and the other girls are PISSED. She annoys me because she immediately goes into her glottal fry voice and is using baby talk with him, her voice sounds different than it has all day and annoys the hell out of me and we’re just beginning their talk. Arie is blindsided and said she looked real sexy today and it’s hard to have her with the other girls and then starts making out with her. She is the one to pull back and ask him how she’s supposed to play this, which I actually have to say I appreciate. Is she supposed to take charge and be aggressive or is she supposed to hang back a lil bit and he shows his noncommittal side and says to just be you and doesn’t give her any help and if she feels lost, come grab him. While they’re making out, we see how freakin short her dress is and I’m worried that we may need the black modesty box out here!
Bibs grabs Arie and commits the cardinal sin on the Bachelor! She decides to bad-mouth a girl that has a connection with the Bachelor…….oh Bibs this ain’t gonna work out great for you. He’s super uncomfortable once she calls out Krystal and that just sealed your fate honey, I’m sorry.
Tia and Arie have an interesting conversation, she talks about how she felt weak and couldn’t believe she was in tears this week, and Arie said he has her back and feel free to go to him if she needs reassurance and then he makes out with her.
Back at the mansion we have a date card here for Lauren S “You had me at Merlot” another girl, I’m positive hasn’t been on my screen since the Lauren montage of the limos the first night.
Alright, Arie and Bekah are back on our group date. He asks her what her longest relationship was and she says 2.5-3 years and they were going different directions, I can only believe that she means that this is her junior high boyfriend and they were going to different high schools and that is why they had to break up. She thought she’d been in love but then realized she wasn’t. How old is Bekah, have we seen her drinking alcohol, is she 21? Once we hear about her long relationship, Arie decides to swallow her face and then she needs to sit on his lap and this is awkward.
Krystal wants to facilitate the conversation with the girls and asks how they feel about their time and then talks about how those girls are living in a fantasy world because her and Arie have the best relationship, obviously! Bekah gets the rose and Krystal is not a happy camper.
Lauren S is going on her 1 on 1 date and bless her heart. She is trying, they’re able to laugh a little bit and actually have a conversation, but you can tell he has her friend zoned by the conversation topics he’s able to bring up with her. He talks about how he’s gotten older, he goes to bed early and wears a bunch of cardigans. In a first of Bachelor world, we see Arie actually eating the food that’s at the table and poor Lauren S is having a floating Lauren moment, where she can’t shut up but knows she should. She said she has no idea what’s coming out of her mouth and he’s not giving her any sort of life jacket or help at all, he’s just letting her sink herself. He lets her sink all the way to not getting a rose and is in the reject limo on her way home.
Group date time: “Love is rough”
- Ashley—–another girl I’ve never seen
- Becca K—–she had the pretty woman date and I actually think is a dark horse that we need to keep an eye out for
- Brittany—–girl who is not afraid to show off her girls and she got the first kiss with the racing of the tiny race cars the first night
- Jenna—-she talks with her hands a lot and is all over the place
- Caroline—no flipping clue
- Chelsea—-single mom, that we thought was like Olivia from Ben’s season and we all thought we’d hate her, but decided to hate Krystal instead
- Annaliese—-masked girl from first night who had a bumper car trauma!
We have the guy come and grab her suitcase and Krystal is talking to the girls and saying how much she loved Lauren S and bonded with her a lot about how she would say that she wouldn’t open up….we’ve got a girl Caroline who is actually sobbing because her BFF of 5 days is leaving the house, I’m going to say if Lauren opened up to anyone it would’ve been her and not Krystal, but that’s just me…..the girls are actually rolling their eyes openly.
We’re at the park and we get a ton of dogs that come running towards the girl. The Dyno dogs are here and the girls are going to be in costume and on stage because the poor people of LA just can’t catch a break this episode. Annaliese is crying again because she’s had scary dog moments, we get another black and white traumatic flashback…..between the dogs and her not liking cars it’s not going to turn out good for you Annaliese.
Bibs and Tia stop drinking for a second to pray and it’s the most real genuine prayer ever “Dear God, thank you for this beautiful day, thanks for my beautiful friend Tia and please let one of the girls get bit by a puppy. Thanks! Okay, love ya bye!” Tia: AMEN!
We have Harrison and Fred Willard here to offer commentary. They are entertaining and thank God we get to see Harrison’s sense of humor since we’ve established Arie doesn’t have one! The dogs are not listening to anything the girls are saying at all, WORST dog show ever!!!!!!
Night portion of the evening! He actually grabs Chelsea and steals her away first. We get a real conversation, I think with Caroline. Which I find intriguing and he seems intrigued as well, she asks about how he said he fell in love 5 years ago and that was it, but she calls him out for not being completely single the last 5 years, so what’s up with that, he explains that he gravitated towards girls that weren’t marriage material and that’s who he dated more. Annaliese is all in her own head freaking out about where she’s at and feels like she’s fallen behind, she can’t have a real conversation with him and is nervous laughter and not listening or looking at him and he’s trying to be nice about the brush off you can tell he’s not interested….and Chelsea comes back and steals some more time with Arie and she’s there to steal a kiss with him. Annaliese goes back to the girls and talks about how she thinks she’s going to go home and talks about the body language he had.
Becca K is talking with him and they’re off to the side in a location that seems more hidden and intimate and like it’d be harder to interrupt. The music changes and she hasn’t been involved in the drama and the conversations about other girls. She’s there and observing but being mature. She talks about how hard this group date was since she was on the 1 on 1 last week and he admits it is weird, but reminds her she got the first date which meant he was interested and he wanted her on this date because he missed her and wanted to see her, I find that intriguing because he’s the first one to say he missed her and then she repeats it back, I honestly think she’s going far, don’t believe me, well they played the fancy harp music during their interaction! He wants to know as much as he can about her. She says she wants to know as much about him as well and then says she thinks he’s a lil bit of a dork and he retaliates by saying she’s just as much of a dork as he is and then points out that he hula hooped with her neck which proves he pays attention to her and also remembers things about her.
Alright, we made it to the cocktail party! Arie grabs Seinne who won the demo derby date rose and didn’t have a rose this week. Bibs had set-up a date with a couch and telescope and Arie and Lauren B happen to come across it and sit on it and make out on it, and of course Bibs runs into them, making out on her couch and Arie asks her for 5 more minutes. Arie uses this set-up to bring all the girls to poor Bib’s area. Arie talks about how he wants to spend as much time he can with the girls he sees a future with.
Bekah and him are lying down and he asks her if she can see herself marrying him and she says yes. He admits he’s guarding his heart with her a lil bit and she’s playing it coy and says that she’s unsafe and asks him if he knows why she’s unsafe and he asks her why and she says its because he knows she doesn’t need him. I appreciate the confidence, if it’s real, if it’s fake confidence to play a game and play with his emotions which I’m more inclined to believe, not a fan of that game, too manipulative!
Annaliese is obsessed with wanting to kiss Arie and then we find out of the remaining 17 girls, she’s the only one who hasn’t kissed him and she decides to go and ask him to kiss her and oye is this awkward! He’s trying to be nice and say that he doesn’t think they’re there yet and I’m so uncomfortable on her behalf because you know it took a lot for her to say that and request that from him and the humiliation she has to feel…..I appreciate him not wanting to lead her on, but don’t act like a kiss is anything special to you when you’ve kissed at least 16 girls in the span of a week Arie!
Chelsea and Marikah are actually being good friends I feel like for Annaliese, they go up to her and help her not cry in the bathroom by herself. My heart goes out to her because she she says she wants to be herself and not a crazy person, so she’s so attune to what’s going on and how she’s acting, but the circumstances aren’t helping her act any differently, I have no doubt she’s not like this in real-life when 25 other girls aren’t competing for the same guy and she has other things going on in her life and isn’t trapped in a house. She talks about how relationships were you blow the person off initially because your friends or a coworker or you’d never thought of them romantically, but then once you see them in a different light a spark can be found, but honey don’t force this and because it’s the Bachelor, of course she forces it! She asks if there’s any chance and he says no, but she’ll find someone and then sends her to the reject limo, at least she doesn’t have to stand thru a rose ceremony. She has no regrets other than being in her own head.
Rose ceremony time:
- Bekah has a group rose
- Crystal has a group rose
- Caroline cried when her friend Lauren went home
- Kendall—taxidermist, who
- Ashley—-still no clue
- Lauren B—-we are down to the final Lauren and that’s all she is
- Brittany—-her girls were contained today but she had zero air time this week
- Becca K—her response was a “hell yea” when he offered the rose, she’s my favorite
- Seinne—no air time this week
- Krystal—everyone rolled their eyes when she went up
- Tia—-country girl who had moonshine with him this week that he gave her
- Maquel—-this girl keeps sneaking through week after week
- Jenna—-She straddled him in a dress to make out with him, at least it was a floor length dress, but still that’s all I got
- Jacqueline—very sweet girl that I like a lot but is sneaking by as well
- Marikah—mom will have to man the restaurant for one more week
Poor Bibiana is going home! Bibs put the hard work of putting that couch together and the two of them didn’t even get to sit on it together. She’s in tears and handles her exit actually pretty gracefully, probably because Krystal didn’t say anything to her to make her punch him. Her exit interview she gets more emotional, but don’t worry she’s going to be on the Winter Games, so we’ll see her again very soon!
Looks like next week we hear how old Bekah is, the girls call out Krystal and get more pissed by her actions and we’re leaving the mansion!!!
Until next week!