Cam & Luke P sabotage themselves

Happy Memorial Day to all of you! Normally we’d be settling in to meet our Bachelorette and the 25 guys she’s stuck with this season, however this year we’re already on our 3rd week! We know the guys who drive us crazy (Cam & Luke) and the ones we’re rooting for (Peter, Garret & Conner).

So settle in for the drama and emotions to go crazy tonite!

Harrison drops off the first date card: “Let’s push our love to the limit”

1. Jonathan— the server
2. Mateo—no idea
3. John Paul Jones—the guy I thought would be a douche, but isn’t as douchey when compared to some of the other fellas here
4. Kevin—-the guy who yelled at the top of his lungs and is the behavioral specialist who seems on the edge of losing his cool.
5. Jed—the singer/songwriter
6. Tyler C —-the guy who likes to dance, like Footloose in the barn
7. Mike—best smile ever, loves his gma
8. Cam—-losing his mind he’s on a group date and people are not thrilled he’ll be with them.

Hannah talks about how women go thru a ton of a pain and she wants to make sure her guy can have empathy. Jason Biggs from American Pie and Jenny Mollen who I have no idea who she is, are here to help the guys with some activities.

First the guys are at the classroom and have to answer questions about female reproduction, Cam somehow thinks that female gestation is 2 weeks instead of 9 months.

Then we see the guys wearing the pregnancy belly, learning how to feed, change and comfort a baby. All the things that you’d expect to see on tv. I of course think that Full House handled this scenario the best when Becky was pregnant with the twins, so the guys should have to watch that episode, but maybe that part got cut.

Then we get clothes pins out so the guys can experience the pain of breast feeding and they all look like they’re loving this date. We then hook the guys up to a birthing simulator. So the guys are able to experience the pain. Some of the guys are trying to be all tough and cool looking and keep a smile on their face, but you can see they’re in pain. It probably doesn’t help the other guys are all in their face watching, and Hannah is holding their hand at their bedside. John Paul Jones may have broken Hannah’s hand with how much he was in pain.

We then move onto the night portion of the date! All the guys abs are sore after being shocked. Luckily there’s alcohol to help soothe them.

Jed is the first one to steal her away and Hannah talks about their connection they already have. I really do hope that Jed is here for the right reasons, because I like him a lot and think he may be genuine. Hannah talks about how she has never been to Nashville, but wants to move there. They then joke about how he knows a guy who lives there and can make it happen. They then throw a chicken nugget off the roof to make a wish, but the wish can’t be shared until he gets a one-on-one date, very smooth Mr. Singer/Songwriter, VERY smooth!

Cam is proving he’s the villain and getting under the guys skin when he talks about how he’s had the least amount of time with Hannah and that he’s looking forward to time with her that is uninterrupted, even after last week when he did the interrupting.

Mike gets his one on one time with Hannah and talks about how he is normally the jovial, confident, happy guy but he knows she wants vulnerability and he’s gonna give her that. Him and his ex got pregnant and he was excited and had an engagement then planned out. Unfortunately, they lost their child in the second trimester and today reminded him of that and he feels it’s his fault for not being there for her at the time. Hannah gives him a big hug and tells him how sorry she was. He knows he can be a better man with this and it was his faith that got him through that tough time and Cam comes and tells them he’ll give them a minute but to wrap up and then lurks in the hallway.

Mike gets MAJOR props because he continues telling her his story and powering through. Until all of a sudden Cam is creeping in the hallway listening to this extremely private moment that I feel guilty for eavesdropping on, but I don’t have a choice unlike Cam! Cam says he has something really important to say, and Mike again is so respectful and powering through and says he’ll come get Cam when he’s done, tells Hannah she gives him hope and kisses him. He says he appreciates Hannah. Hannah says she appreciates him and has something to tell him, and Cam comes back for the THIRD time and says he has something important to say! Hannah isn’t able to finish her thought, she gives Mike a kiss an this is where Mike made me like him a little more because he goes in for a light kiss right in-front of Cam, and Cam deserves that!

Mike comes back and tells the guys that Cam came in 3 different times and wouldn’t leave him alone. Well the guys are now pissed and say that karma is a bitch. And that is true, you respect someone’s time they’ll respect yours. You’re gonna play a low-ball dirty game, well watch out. It does seem like most of the guys who make it pretty far on the Bachelorette are guys that are well-liked and respected by the other contestants, which means they probably get more time and interrupted less than the jerks.

Cam finally can tell Hannah his very important thing, and that is that he quit his job to come on this show….because that is obviously the makings of a stable relationship. She now owes him obviously since he gave up his career, though she obviously never asked him to. Well Jonathan, my server comes up to steal Hannah and Cam is pissed. He keeps saying “Two more minutes, two more minutes” and is being obnoxious about it. Cam’s best friend is John Paul Jones which should be all that there is to say.

Also, I’m confused by Cam’s outfit, he went with a blue suit, complete with jacket and pocket square but the shirt underneath it is a white hoodie, with drawstrings showing, the same shirt the guys who are at home waiting for the date card are wearing.

Date card time!

Conner  “Let’s set sail on our love story!”

Our guy who didn’t get a date last week, but handled it with grace, was the one to get the one-on-one this week, which should be a lesson for the rest of the fellas.

Tyler C tells her that he wanted to call his mom after the date today and tell her he loves her after the pain they went through. He now knows women run the earth. Hannah is a sexy badass who knows what she wants and that’s a turnon for him and he’s ready to be her arm candy. She finds him humorous and they make out.

Group date rose goes to Mike for his heartwarming story and opening up to her and showing a different way to be bold. He accepts it by calling her “Southern Belle” and she is all smiley as well.

We come back from commercial to an ambulance on our screen, with Hannah in the hospital and an IV attached to her with fluids and nausea medicine. Conner got a date card that said they have to cancel their date, but come over to my hospital suite to keep me company.

Conner stops at a florist, get soup and a card and goes and visits her. They sit and cuddle up on her bed. He gives her the card and says she doesn’t need to read it now, which of course makes her want to read it now more than ever. She leans in for the kiss and then tells him she’s not contagious.

Right now, seeing that this bed they’re cuddling on isn’t huge, let’s me know she must be feeling this guy somewhat, because if you’re not feeling a guy (ahem Cam) you’re not inviting him to your room to cuddle on the bed. You’d just postpone the date until later.

He asks her what’s causing her to feel down. She said when she woke up she basically passed out, and had a bunch of fluids put into her. He is comforting to her and this is the most real date we’ve ever had on this show. This is what they’ll do in the real life more than anything.

Conner tells us that when he was 13 he was skiing with his family and his mom fell over. She had a stroke. She was air-lifted to the nearest hospital. He walked in with his brother and tried to talk to his mom and she couldn’t talk to them. He said he learned in that situation how strong his parents relationship is and what he aspires to have. She then tells him that she has to get back to sleep, dr’s orders and he leaves her but also puts lil post-it notes around her room to see when she wakes up and feels better and to put a smile on her face. There was no rose handed out, but dang, I fell for Conner on this date!

Hannah finds the notes around the room and loves them. She’s smitten.

All the guys are hanging out eating pizza and Luke is being a weirdo asking what Hannah was wearing, she was sick man she’s not gonna be all glamorous. Conner was like “idk a shirt and sweatpants or something” which was absolutely the right response.

As he’s in the living room, a driver comes in and says he’s here for Conner. The date isn’t over, he has 15 minutes to look sharp and take off with the driver. She greets him, he’s all dressed up and asks for him to accept the rose because he made her feel so special. Lukas Graham sings “Love Someone” to just the two of them and they sway around kiss and seem to really like one another. Good for you Conner, you took a bad situation and made it into a great one and you were rewarded!

Tyler G who got our first one on one date of the season evidently had to go home this week. We don’t know why he had to go home. It is really weird, I rewound my DVR a few times because I feel like I missed something, but this is the only explanation we’re given of Tyler G’s disappearance.

I watch this show on a delay (thanks DVR) to go through commercials, so I went to Twitter to see what I missed and evidently ABC needs to do a better job screening the contestants if they somehow let this get by and through them: https://www.newsweek.com/what-happened-bachelorette-contestant-tyler-g-dating-history-revealed-hannah-1436811

1. Dylan
2. Luke P
3. Dustin
4. Garrett
5. Devon
6. Luke S
7. Peter
8. Joey
9. Grant

We walk in and there is a photographer in a studio. We have guys who need to work the camera and see what happens when they’re paired with models. The models are animals. Some of the guys are disappointed they aren’t with hot models. This has to do with Secret Life of Pets 2, of course it does.

We have Demi being back to spying on the guys. She’s keeping an eye on the guys to see what happens when Hannah is not around. She’s gonna have girls flirting with the guys to see how they react and make sure they’re here for Hannah. The guys are great and say the right things and not needing to be run outta town.

Hannah then does a photo shoot with the guys and Peter makes out with her in-front of the other guys.

Luke P can’t handle her kissing other guys, so he kicks one of the guys out so he can do pushups and she stands on his back and awkwardly smiles. Then she’s told she needs to go change and he said he’ll walk her to her changing room, and she then tells him they’ll talk tonight.

Hannah grabbed Luke P right away and the other guys can tell she’s frustrated. In her interview she talks about how Luke stole the show again but in a negative way. He flaunts their connection in-front of the other guys and she’s not a fan of that. She then says there is a fine line of attractive to the most unattractive thing she’s ever seen before (I selfishly really want her and Luke P to still be together right now, because talk about an awkward line to have to explain to your fiance tonight :))

Luke tells her he doesn’t think that these guys have what it takes to be her husband and basically is trying to get her to end the show right now. Hannah talks about how they did have an automatic connection and she likes it. However, she’s been struggling because he thinks it’s promised to him and that bothers her a lot. His confidence in this makes her irritated in a way, and she’s in the middle of a sentence and he cuts her off. She wants him to focus on her but she needs him to respect the fact that she has other relationships as well. There’s a line between confidence and cocky and he needs to change. She hugs him, but no kiss!

He says in his interview that Hannah is irritated with how he’s acting and he’s coming out arrogant and too confident and he doesn’t think he’s coming across that way. And doesn’t see her seeing him that way, it doesn’t make sense to him. He wants to continue to move on and act like the conversation never happened.

He then goes and tries to interrupt her and the gentleman she’s with (I have no idea who he is, but he’s cute and has a great laugh) asks for 3 more minutes. Luke is about to say no, but Hannah tells him no and says she’ll talk to him later. Then we see Luke lurking around a corner waiting for her, the gentleman who she’d just been with comes up next to him and quietly thanks him for the 3 more minutes, and Hannah is now talking to another suitor and not Luke P. Well he decides to do Cam’s move of going in and lurking and checking on her and tries to swoop in again, he’s denied again. All the guys are talking about Luke is imploding on himself and they’re worried about what he’s going to do.

Peter is trying to go in and talk to Hannah and Luke is NOT a fan. After all, Peter had the gall to kiss his girl earlier today and that’s what started his crazy train. He tells Peter that he’s waiting to talk to Hannah. Peter said he wants to talk to her since he hasn’t yet. Luke said he hasn’t talked to her either. Pete’s confused since he was in the room when Hannah took him away at the beginning, but hello Pete, Hannah talked to Luke, Luke didn’t talk to her! Luke is very threatened by Peter and doesn’t want Pete to talk to her, he’s not going to let it happen!

I feel like for the first time we see what it’s like for the guys who are waiting to talk to Hannah, it’s like a waiting room, or if you’re Catholic like me, the confessional line. You don’t know how long the person in-front of you is going to take, but you know you have a limited amount of time before mass is gonna start and so you need your time before the clock runs out. However, I’m not usually bargaining with the person in-front of me to go quickly and I’ve never barged in on anyone.

Peter is sitting in a chair at the end of the hall and looks somewhat relaxed, compared to Luke who is pacing. Peter says he just wants to talk to Hannah and is trying to get through to Luke and Luke just says he wants to talk to her too.

Hannah comes out, Luke says he wants to talk to her. She promises him she’ll talk to him again, but he needs to calm down and let her call her own shots.

Hannah comes and grabs Peter and they go exploring. Peter had a great time with her, she had a great time with him. They’re all smiles. Peter comments that she has photo shot skills from being Miss Alabama, oh and did you know my mom was Miss Illinois. She likes his mama and he wants them to meet because they would get along. She wants to know how his parents met. Dad is a pilot, mom is a flight attendant, he walked past her mom to go to the cock-pit and mom just saw dad’s butt and told her friend “that’s the guy I’m gonna marry.” After that they hit it off and boom here he is. He loves that every time they talk he goes away happier, and this couldn’t be going better for him and he’s having a great time. They make out a lot, he lifts her up and kisses her up against the wall.

Hannah comes back in to hand out the group date rose. she has it in her hand and wants to talk to Luke. She likes him okay and he needs to respect her other relationships and she doesn’t think he did even tonight, so he needs to work harder and fix it okay? He just nods and says he now knows how she feels and he’s appreciative and he knows how to fix this and gets a hug.

Then they go back in and Hannah gives Peter the date rose and they’re both so happy and positive. Luke is pissed.

There is no cocktail party tonight, we’re doing a beach party instead but calling it a tailgate party instead. Cam needs to discuss something very personal with Hannah right when it starts and Hannah may send him home and he just wants to say it’s been a fun time with them and cheers. Mike, is the one who breaks the awkward silence with “BS!”

She just wants a chill day to relax, and all the guys are having a great time with her. Throwing out the football, playing cornhole…and then Cam grabs Hannah and the guys are pissed off. Cam said as he was getting off work, his leg locked up and he was going to need an amputation. Right before surgery his grandma passed away. Then he had another surgery in Nov 2017 and he had a 10 month old puppy he had to re-home. It just seems like there is more and more to this story and it’s too unbelievable. Is it true, and if so why are you choosing this moment to say it?

Mike tells her that it seems odd and that he was going for a pity rose. And Hannah thinks it was a last ditch effort and a Hail Mary attempt. She doesn’t like that she was being manipulated, so she pulls Cam aside to call him out on it. He tells her he wrote guys goodbye letters and it is too calculated. She leaves the guys before the rose ceremony saying “Just so you know, if you get a rose, know that it is not a pity rose.”

Rose Ceremony time!

1. Mike- group date rose #1
2. Conner- one-on-one date rose
3. Peter- group date rose #2
4. Jed – singer/songwriter
5. Tyler —are we gonna see this guy dance at some point or not?!?
6. Dustin — this guy got ZERO air time this week
7. Dylan — this guy wore the white suit the first week, and I don’t know what he’s done since.
8. Grant —- the unemployed guy
9. Luke P —- not a shock, but he is going to have a breakdown at some point soon
10. Garrett — I am just waiting for this guy to get some airtime and I can’t wait, first guy outta the limo, he has to be a darkhorse!
11. John Paul Jones — the persona and character that is John Paul Jones
12. Mateo — no idea
13. Devon — this guy may have been the one with the great laugh and smile where he then thanked Luke for the 3 more mins though it was actually Hannah that told Luke no
14. Luke S —the guy who looks like Nick Vail, he gives great commentary of what is going on, so I appreciate him!

Last rose goes to:

15. Kevin—the behavioral therapist who didn’t get any airtime this week and may have not even gotten a date!

That means Cam is going home! Good for you Hannah in seeing thru the slimy jerk! We also are losing our server Jonathan, and Joey who I don’t know.

We get Cam “crying” as he’s saying goodbye, but I don’t see any tears actually falling down and it seems calculated and not real, but bye Cam, we’ll see you on Bachelor in Paradise in a few weeks!

Also kids, this is why you don’t quit your job to go on a reality dating show with 30 other guys!

It’s crazy to think after our 3rd week, we have already cut our list down by 15 guys. We started with 30 and we’re down to 15!

Until next week!

Lindsay

 

 

Hannah’s First Dates

Here we are for Week 2! We’re gonna go on dates and see how real and crazy these guys are 🙂

We open to Hannah skipping around a gazebo, ala Sound of Music, but Hannah is older than 16 going on 17, though some of these guys may not be much older than Ralph and let’s be honest, they could be whistle blowers like he is too….

First Date, “I’m looking for my Mr. Right” goes to:

1. Grant — unemployed
2. Luke S — ATFR guy who kinda looks like a nicer Nick Vaill
3. Mike — Air Force veteran, who said goodbye to granny and has the best smile
4. Jed — Singer/Songwriter
5. Jonathan — server in LA
6. John Paul Jones —John Paul Jones, enough said
7. Dylan —- he wore a white dinner jacket the first night and looked like a waiter
8. Luke P — first impression rose, falls quickly, bless his heart

So of the 8 guys on this date, I’ll be cheering for Mike and Luke S will be my #2 and since I feel like I need a #3, I’ll go for Dylan because he seems like the best of the worst.

We’re at a theatre and we are having some drag queens help the guys become “Mr. Right”. We have a talent portion and then the guys are getting speedos to put on for the catwalk.

This is me going to be on my soapbox again here like I was last season, sure we can get the guys to wear speedos and it’s funny and completely fine, however everyone would be howling to the moon if we had girls in bikinis running around our screen for a “Miss Right” pageant. I again just feel like this is a double standard, why couldn’t it be a “bathing suit” portion at the very least and the guys could choose what to wear….but that’s not where we’re at right now. I’ll get off my soapbox now.

It does seem that these guys are good sports and are in all on this pageant. Speaking of, this reminds me of the movie Dumplin on Netflix. If you haven’t watched it, WATCH IT!!!

I did giggle when JPJ said “Luke has a body of a greek god,” the way he said it made me actually laugh. The whole rest of that portion, I was just waiting for it to be over.

Of course most of the talent portion is funny and goofy. I think we’re all shocked when Jed the singer/songwriter breaks out a guitar and sings an original. Who saw that coming?!?

Then we get Luke saying that she already has a piece of his heart and he is genuinely starting to fall in love with her……then goes and kisses her. Can someone please tell me what his talent was?!? Falling in love the quickest? Evidently it worked for Hannah because she named him Mr. Right, which is making me shake my head and think she may be making some bad choices this season. She wants to hear these words so bad, and again doesn’t have the confidence to believe that she deserves to hear the words that she so desperately wants to hear them that she’s not questioning if it’s genuine or too soon or why/how he can be falling in love with her. What does he know ABOUT HER? I kinda wish this was Andi or Rachel on the show right now, because they’d ask why and integrate and we’d find out more answers, then just make out with him like Hannah.

And as I’m typing this, my friend Mike proves why he’s my favorite on this date and he does ask why. Luke said he thinks it’s too good to be true and his personality is the type to go after something, so basically he’s looking to “win” this and wants it. She’s beautiful, but again not hearing a lot about her personality. If I went on a date with a guy like this, it would freak me the hell out and I’d be running the other way. She does say that Luke takes her breath away.

The first group date rose goes to our singing cowboy Jed who shined the brightest on the group date. He also got a kiss tonight. The guys golf clap as he gets the rose, but I think they were actually somewhat happy because it wasn’t Luke who got it. He’s okay not winning the pageant since he won the night and rose.

Date card: Tyler G “Falling in love can be messy”….hmmm all I had about him was that he’s a Psych grad student who made awkward long eye contact and said that she is literally the girl of his dreams since he’s been dreaming about her lately. Interesting darkhorse choice for the first one-on-one date, I never would’ve chose him for that.

Hannah shows up all in white, white jeans, white t-shirt and white jacket. She evidently isn’t as clumsy as me, I would spill something on myself and am not that brave to get away with wearing all that white. And then I’m reminded the date said the words messy and she’s in all white, something is not adding up.

They’re on ATVs and she is going crazy and is doing this in her white outfit and even though they’re in mud, she’s again not getting as messy as I would be, I’d also probably accidentally fall off the 4 wheeler too.

Hannah reminds us that she got the first one on one date and wants him to be open and honest with her because it’ll make it better for both of them. Just be his-self. Tyler looks like a combination of Crying Ashley’s Jared and Tanner of the Jade & Tanner couplehood.

I like Tyler G because he seems like a normal guy. He isn’t declaring his love for her. He seems to be wanting to have a real connection with her and talking with her like she’s a normal person and not THE BACHELORETTE. I like it too because he talks about how he isn’t going to be the “cool” guy and I think that’s perfect for her since she’s goofy. He is also one of the first people to ask her about her dreams and what she wants to do with her life. It’s an actual first date conversation! Something new and different for us! He gets the rose on the date if it means he gets to hang out with her longer and then he goes in for the kiss.

Group date card: “Let’s get our love on track”

1. Devin — talent manager who joked about being a virgin but isn’t one
2. Mateo — I evidently liked the guy who got lil screen time in the premiere
3. Daron — IT consultant who looks to be 40
4. Connor J — car salesman who talked French but who’s mom is from Hong Kong
5. Kevin — dropped a bunch of footballs for his intro and fumbled the intro
6. Dustin — on ATFR now air time
7. Tyler C —- the Kevin Bacon dancer
8. Joey — had a baby carrier that was actually holding champagne
9. Peter — the pilot and I think the eventual winner
10. Garrett — Golf pro first outta the limo, so someone else we need to keep an eye on!

We’re gonna roller-derby tonight and the guys are FREAKING out. The last time Hannah was roller-skating she broker her arm so she’s a lil nervous. One of the guys described the other guys like they were Bambi and that is a great analogy!

This is the saddest roller derby ever because these guys can barely skate, let alone try and be strategic. There is also some poor people who need to watch this for some reason. What a waste of a day and time…..no wonder they all start chanting “KILL, KILL, KILL”

Dustin was one of the best skaters, but he got knocked out and hurt his ankle. He told Hannah that he’s shy and quiet, and he is going to genuine and him so he’s not gonna be loud and bold. Hannah told him his energy has been noticed and show her his heart. Dustin goes in for the kiss and she seems receptive. I wish they weren’t so close to the mics for the kissing noise, but I guess that’s my biggest complaint.

Peter tells her he lives in LA but flys for a major airline and there’s a chance he could’ve flown her at some point. He’s focused a lot on his career, so relationships have been more on the backburner, he’s a hopeless romantic and he’s excited to find the one, which makes her light up. He doesn’t get a kiss, he just gets a hug, and he slaps the guy who steals her on the back.

Our friend Garrett, who tells us that he knows he’s gonna get to talk to her tonight is foreboding enough to know something is gonna go down. And that something that is going to go down is CAM, from the ATFR who got the first rose of the season and thought he’d get the first impression rose as well, decides to stop in on the group date he wasn’t invited to. You can tell he’s a jackass, who is just a character, the way he keeps saying his catchphrase “ABC- Always be Cam.”

He comes in and interrupts one on one time and Hannah is not thrilled to see him at the group date and really not excited her barged in on her convo. She looks disgusted to see him. She is trying to discreetly make eye contact with a producer or anyone to see what the hell is going on.

The guys are obviously pissed that he showed up, especially since some of these guys got short-changed the first night with the drama with Scott having the girlfriend back home and now they have this douche ruining their time.

Didn’t anyone tell Cam, that it’s normally an okay thing for a guy who got a rose like he did to not have a date the first week. She knows who you are, so as long as you lay low chances are you’re making it to the following week. Play it cool man.

But Cam is doing the complete opposite. He is trying to not get “too hannalytical” or “hannalyze.” She thanks him for coming out and letting him know that he’s thinking about her, and then he goes in for the kiss and she reciprocates and I’m now yelling at her to open her damn eyes! Cam is a moron.

While Cam is doing his interview, we see Tyler C (Kevin Bacon dancer guy) come into the shot and Tyler said Hannah doesn’t want a passive guy, she laid down her expectations. And now we get our first guy outta the limo Garrett in the shot and tell him he doesn’t appreciate what he did and it wasn’t cool. Either of these guys who came up to Cam, could absolutely fight him and Cam would go down in a second. Damn, we have all the guys coming after Cam now telling him that it was poor judgement, and didn’t show confidence. All the guys are pissed at Cam and I really don’t blame them since they did run outta time and she couldn’t talk to all of the guys.

The date rose goes to Dustin because she asked for someone when they fall they get back up, and he literally did that. Dustin accepts the rose and there is some jealous feelings.

Hannah shows up for the cocktail party and has this very gorgeous red dress. She walks in the door and starts crying right away, which is odd. She asks for every single one of them to be real with her and she needs to be real with them. She’s had a great week and feels really special. Luckily one of the guys has Kleenex and gets her some. She feels incredibly lucky and is scared and it’s hard to make decisions because she doesn’t trust herself to make those decisions I don’t think.

Kevin finally gets some alone time with Hannah, he’s a behavioral specialist for the Army, so he has her get some pent up emotions out and they both scream at the top of their lungs. They are just starting their convo, when guess who comes up and interrupts them? Cam said he has something for all 3 of them. So basically he makes it an awkward 2 on 1 date, where Kevin has to sit and awkwardly watch them interact and eat chicken nuggets. Kevin is not thrilled with this and calls him out on it.

Hannah really likes that Tyler C, our Kevin Bacon dancer, is really present with her. When he’s locked in, he’s locked in and she notices and appreciates it. He goes in for the kiss and she’s all about it.

Luke P goes in for a massage and wants her to relax. He also tells her he’s really good with her hands. She is certainly attracted to him. She talks about how hot he is and is taking his shirt off to give him a massage and make out with him. As they are giggling they are interrupted by poor Jed who has the rose already, they both look awkward and uncomfortable and poor Jed is uncomfortable. Hannah lets a lot of cuss words go in a row because she got caught up in the moment and was caught and doesn’t know what to do. Jed makes a joke about it and makes her feel more comfortable and at ease which helps. They are able to joke and laughed about it.

Alright Rose ceremony time!

1. Jed– Singer songwriter date rose from group date #1
2. Tyler G —- one on one date rose
3. Dustin — group date #2 rose
4. Tyler C — Dancing Kevin Bacon
5. Garrett — 1st guy outta the limo, DARKHORSE, he’s gonna make a move here soon people, we gotta keep an eye out on him!
6. Devon — don’t think he’s gonna make it super far, hasn’t gotten a lot of airtime.
7. Connor S — guy didn’t get a date this week, but handled it the way you should, stole her right away after her toast, put her at ease, they each admitted to thinking about each other a lot (absence makes the heart go fonder) and then he kissed her.
8. Luke P—physical connection is there, he’s already in love, if he didn’t look like he looks, she’d be running so fast away from him, but whatever.
9. Dylan — still don’t hear anything from this guy.
10. Luke S —the better looking Nick Vaill
11. Mike — best smile and great energy, plus he loves his grandma
12. Peter — the pilot, still think he’s in the final 2
13. Kevin — kinda surprised he made it, but evidently the yelling at the top of the lungs did it!
14. Jonathan — the server from LA who is just there
15. Joey —- doesn’t stand out a whole lot.
16. Mateo —– cute guy who didn’t say a whole lot this episode
17. John Paul Jones — not as annoying as a guy named John Paul Jones should be, which just tells you about the level of doucheness we have this season.
18. Grant — unemployed guy

FINAL ROSE: 19. Cam — you knew the producers weren’t gonna let him leave, they need the villain and pot-stirrer.

Those going home are: Connor J—the salesman who I thought was squirmy, Daron the guy who looks like he’s 40, Matthew, who I have no clue who that is. So we’re not losing anyone that I think she should’ve kept.

Hannah left after the rose ceremony to come in and do her interview in the interview room. Cam is pushing buttons and ticking off guys as they’re exiting the room. Luke P. manages to sneak away from the guys and goes into the interview room where Hannah is recapping everything. She asks what he’s doing and she gets up and hugs and kisses him. She said she wants to talk to him more and she sits down in his lap and talks to him with all these cameras right up in their grill. And then they start making out and evidently forget there are a lot of people around, the way they’re kissing you’d think they’re in the honeymoon suite already.

The previews for next week show us that Cam & Luke P may self-implode a lil bit and I will be ALL HERE for that! I’m fully on Team Peter and maybe team Garrett, he hasn’t pissed me off yet, so I guess I should be fully on board just because of that 🙂

Alright, well have a great week, and I’ll see you next Monday (Memorial Day) for our next installment!

Lindsay

 

Hannah B Meets Her Guys!

Roll Tide Everyone, we’re at the start of Hannah B’s journey to find love!

We must’ve been good this off-season, because we get an early start to the Bachelorette, normally it starts Memorial Day weekend, but here we are not even the middle of May and we’re starting off!

I have to be honest, I was not a huge Hannah B fan when we were first introduced to her on Colton’s season. I’ll be honest, I judged her for her beauty queen title and stereotyped her for being all beauty no brains. However, as the season went on, she endeared herself to me more. You could tell she had a big heart, and surprisingly was more insecure than I thought she would’ve been.

After watching her montage at the beginning, I gotta be honest, I’m rooting for her to find love. I think/hope she’ll be a genuine Bachelorette for us. It seems like her heart is in the right place and she may actually want to do this crazy show to fall in-love. She may be my favorite since JoJo! I thought Becca was wanting to prove something to Arie, I liked Rachel, but she didn’t seem to be there at the end for the right reasons, so let’s hope it’s like JoJo and hey, there is another Rodgers brother out there if she’s looking for her own Jordan (aka Aaron’s lil brother) Rodgers!

Let’s meet the guys, I’m gonna be honest, I have yet to see a preview of the season and haven’t looked at any of the info on these guys. I haven’t seen their profiles on ABC or read any spoilers, so I’ll be judging based off what I’m seeing on my TV screen. (Also, feel like I should full disclosure, today was the first day at my new job, so I’ve met a lot of people today already, so either these takes are gonna be more on point then they’ve ever been, or I’m way off-base 🙂

We get to see Instagram videos of the guys having farewell parties and in the airport before they’re heading to see Hannah….then we get into our prerecorded intros!

We have Tyler, from FL who’s 25 and a General Contractor. Oh dear lord, he does his best Kevin Bacon from Footloose, and whatever glowing review I was gonna leave Tyler, goes out the window as he shows white guys don’t have rhythm and I don’t care that you were 2 classes away from a dance minor in college. I am too busy scrubbing out my eyes right now!

Peter, is 27 from CA and a pilot. Gotta love a guy in uniform 😉 I’m just begging he’s not the next Jake Pavelka, because I’m liking Peter based off first impression. Dad was a pilot and mom was a flight attendant. He’s spontaneous and can fly her anywhere! He likes goofy girls. I am goofy and I like Peter!

Mike Johnson, 31 is an Air Force veteran from Dallas, TX. He’s a “portfolio manager” which I feel like is an Instagram model or something. He has to come and say goodbye to his grandma, who I love. She lectures him and Mike has a gorgeous smile!

Joe, 30, from Chicago, IL is the Box king and a big douche. He comes from a Strong Italian family, he knows the right words to say, I just don’t believe a word coming outta his mouth.

Matt Donald, 26 from CA, Medical Device Salesman but we see he lives on the farm and does some chores. He has 2 deaf parents and a deaf older brother so there is lots of sign language and he was an AL fan and fell for Hannah when she let out her first Roll Tide. I like you Matt Donald, but you may be too sweet for this show.

Connor, 28, Sales Manager from CA. He comes from a diverse family, his dad is from Iowa, his mom is from Hong Kong. Okay, so he’s this big shot sales manager for a large car company, what does daddy or grandpa do, because there’s no way at 28 most people will get that title and if they do, they aren’t the type to walk away from their job for 3 months to film this, they’re still climbing the corporate ladder.

Luke, 24 from GA, import/export manager what in the world is that?!? He was a good looking guy in college and guess what the girls noticed too! He had an encounter with God in the shower and has changed his ways. His brother and sister-in-law met and got married within one year. He has an adorable baby niece. Maybe he’s not as much of a douche as I originally thought.

Alright, we’re done with those videos and now at the point of Hannah getting ready to meet the guys and Chris Harrison giving her one last pep talk! The driveway is watered down and ready for these limos to drive on it! Our girl Hannah has another moment of insecurity, Harrison tries to pump her up, I try and pump her up from my couch, I hope she believes in herself and does this!

1. Garrett, 27, Golf Pro from Birmingham, AL is first outta the limo. That’s a great sign Garrett! You should make it pretty far if history has anything to say about it! She is thrilled to meet another AL guy. He has a corny joke and she loves it.
2. Mike, 31 our Portfolio manager with a great smile. He has the 5 cs he lives by: character, charm, charisma, consistency and compassion. He thinks she’s pretty.
3. Jed, 25, Singer/Songwriter from Nashville, he is so on here to get his music career launched isn’t he?!? I don’t trust this guy.
4. Tyler C, our General Contractor from FL who is a dancer warns us he has something in store but thank God doesn’t break into dancing right now.
5. Dylan, 24, Tech Entrepreneur from CA, he may be a waiter in his past life because he went with the white jacket and black bowtie you see on waiters more than anyone else.
6. Connor S, 24, Investment Analyst from Dallas, he jumps the fence to Hannah after yelling her name, you knew someone HAD to do it.
7. Devin, 27 Talent Manager, CA: you know talent manager isn’t really his gig, he is a bartender or a bouncer and scopes out who will be the next big thing while he’s working his real job. He tried to joke that he was a virgin, she said that was okay and he then giggled and said he’s not a virgin.  Hannah liked his energy.
8. John Paul Jones, 24 from MD and his work is just his name….I’m over him before he’s said a word. His friends call him John Paul Jones so you can call him John Paul Jones.
9. Brian, 30, Math Teacher from KY, dangit he’s so stinkin nervous and cute. He has to giggle and can’t calm down. He’s super awkward, she’s super awkward so maybe it’d work, or it’d be the worst thing ever!
10. Scott, 28, Software Sales Exec, Chicago, he’s so excited she’s the Bachelorette.
11. Matteo, 25, Management Consultant, Atlanta, he’s a cutie! She takes his breath away and does seem nervous 🙂
12. Daron, 25, IT Consultant, GA, he looks like he’s about 40 btw. He’s excited to be on this journey with her and doesn’t know how to get into the mansion.
13. Tyler G, 28, Psych Grad student from FL, makes weird eye contact and she is literally the girl of his dreams as he’s been dreaming about her.
14. Thomas, 27, International Pro Basketball Player, Detroit, he has played over in Europe since he didn’t make it to the NBA. He’s been traveling and she is topping the moment of him traveling.
15. Matthew, 23 Car Bidder, CA: talks about her sparkling dress.
16. Joe, 30, the freakin Box king….dear lord…Fragile package comes up on a forklift with the beeping noise and she is freakin out and giggling because she’s nervous. The guy pops out like a Jack in the Box, and no matter if you’re expecting it or not, you’re gonna be surprised and she fell to her knees and screamed.
17. Joey, 33, Finance Manager, from MD, he has a baby carrier and she asks what he has. He wanted to show her what their future could look like, and pulls the blanket away and they pop open a bottle of champagne.
18. Connor, 28, our car salesman from CA is talking to her in French for some reason.
19. Ryan, 25, Roller Boy because he came in on Roller Skates tells you everything you need to know about this poor kid. He ain’t going far.
20. Hunter, 24, Pro Surfer from CA, he has a tie and wants her help so together they can tie the knot, that actually was quite clever to me 🙂
21. Grant, 30 Unemployed, CA who makes crude jokes about it being a sausage party.
22. Jonathan, 27, Server in CA, gives her pizza and asks if she’ll have a piece of his heart
23. Kevin, 27, Behavioral Health Specialist from IL, comes out with a bunch of footballs he drops and talks about how fumbled that intro
24. Luke gets on the top of the limo and gets into beast mode. I find it somewhat impressive that she remembers him from the After the Final Rose and liked him….but he also seems to like that and rub it in, so he’s gonna be a pot stirrer I believe.
25. Luke S, 29, Political Consultant, DC, also one she had met previously. She has a calming presence.
26. Dustin, 30 Real Estate Broker, Chicago, excited he remembers her.
27. Cam, 30 Software Sales from Austin, he has a mic and drops a rap and he gives her a huge hug and she gives him a huge hug and lights up, she may actually like this guy. I’m a lil concerned when he says he’s not here for his 15 mins of fame.
28. Matt Donald comes in on a tractor with a straw hat and sings a song to the tune of Old MacDonald and this guy is seriously gonna cry a few times this season and get eaten alive by the other guys in the house, but bless his heart, I like him! She loves how corny he is and seems to like him. He’s insecure about the competition as well.
29. Chasen, 27 is a pilot from MI. He made her a paper airplane and she got pumped about it. Takeoff is his favorite thing and they’re journey is just taking off.
30. Peter is our other pilot and he comes in his uniform. He gives her a set of wings since when he got his wings they give a second pair. I think it’s a good sign that she remembered his name when he was walking away, she said “nice to meet you Peter”

Alright, there’s Hannah’s 30 guys! She’s gonna be real and she wants everyone to be real with her, if they can’t abide by that, get out now!

Luke P was the first one to steal Hannah and he’s already falling for her, or fallin for the idea of falling 🙂

Mike Johnson is coming in strong! He grabs her and asks her questions and gets her to talk about herself and what she’s going through. She talks about how she’s strived to be perfect her whole life and has realized she can’t be perfect. He says you need to love yourself first and to enjoy it.

Connor J the car salesman owner throws her a Bachelorette party with all the stereotypical shower games, like junk in the trunk and she gets a crown and loves it from being a pageant queen.

Cam goes in for the first kiss of the season, since he already has a rose and it’s their second date. He asked before he kissed her and she said that was fine.

Hannah has a crush on Jed the guy from Nashville who I’m determined is just here to advance his music career.

Someone reached out to Demi on social media to say that there’s a guy who has a girlfriend. Demi and Katie are in a van watching the raw footage of the conversations. Demi said that Scott is the guy with a girlfriend, he wants to do interior design of their house. Harrison comes and grabs Hannah and needs to talk to her and pulls her aside. He gets her to Demi and Katie and they talk about how there is screenshots of the messages between his girlfriend and her friends. She comes in hot and says “Hey Scott we need to talk.” The guys notice it wasn’t a good way to be summoned.

He denies that he had a girlfriend. She tells him that she doesn’t want a guy who has someone waiting on the side and a safety net in-case this doesn’t work out. He admits he was dating a girl up until Monday, but he doesn’t think he’s gonna marry that girl, so it’s fine! She is flabbergasted. She lectures him about how to treat a girl. He tries to say it’s the same thing by dating Colton for 2-3 months and then coming here. She tells him it’s not the same thing, and she kicks him off because he has another girl on the line. That girlfriend of his back home, better kick him to the curb as well! She rushes him through the house, by saying “COME ON! NO COME ON!” and slams the door shut and goes to the other guys.

She talks about how she talked about how she needs someone who is real and if anyone has someone at home, leave now because it’s not far to anyone. She then said she needs a second, and walked outside and cried by the pool. And right there, Hannah and I became besties, I get it! All that adrenaline and emotion would’ve made me cry as well, even though I’m not a huge crier.

Luke is finally the guy who goes and consoles her, come on Fellas!!! This was your chance to step-up. Speaking of stepping-up she says a few times that she’s freezing and Luke doesn’t offer her his coat, come on, she gave you the signs, be a gentleman!!!

Damn, she went in for kiss #2 with Connor S after he talked about how comfortable she made him and he was so happy to talk to her. She said be honest with how you feel and keep talking to her through this journey. I’m shocked he got kiss #2 to be honest with you!

Luke gets the first impression rose because he was the one to jump in and console her. And she’s excited when she sees him and is able to talk to him and is looking forward to getting to know him. He wants her to know this means the world to him and the affirmation means everything. She then goes in for a kiss after she gets the rose on him. Hannah B ain’t messing around. I’m pretty sure they sucked each other’s faces off though.

Alright Final Rose time!

1. Cam—got one at the After the Final Rose Ceremony
2. Luke P—-got First Impression Rose
3. Mike Johnson—-the best smile ever and made sure to ask her how she was doing. Lots of giggling
4. Connor S—-after getting the 2nd kiss not a huge shock
5. Matthew—got nothing, other than he’s cute
6. Connor J—the car salesman with the French and Bachelorette party, I don’t trust him
7. Jed—-the musician from Nashville, I REALLY don’t trust this guy
8. Dustin—he was on the ATFR but no real airtime tonight
9. Joey—baby carrier guy who popped champagne
10. Devin—guy who joked about being a virgin but isn’t
11. Peter—the pilot, this guy is gonna go far!
12. Dylan—the guy in the white dinner jacket who looks like a waiter
13. Mateo—-I like this guy though he got no screen time and she was worried she was mispronouncing his name
14. Jonathan—the server from LA
15. Tyler C—-dear lord the dancer
16. Tyler G-Psych grad student
17. Daron- IT consultant who looks to be 40
18. Luke S- another ATFR guy
19. Garrett- Golf Pro, 1st guy outta the limo
20. Grant—the guy who is unemployed
21. Kevin—the guy who fumbled the footballs

FINAL ROSE:

22. JOHN PAUL JONES?!!?

I get that he’s the one the producers chose, but come on!!! MATT DONALD!!!!!! Chasen the other pilot! Thomas the basketball guy! Brian the really nervous Math Teacher! Ryan the roller skate guy! Hunter the surfer who wants to tie the knot together!

Thank Good the box guy is going home, but still!!!

The preview for the season looks great! There are guys falling in love, well hell they were falling in love tonight, so they’ll be fully in love by next week’s show! We have guys fighting. We have Hannah in love, we have Hannah pissed off and standing up for herself (which is my favorite Hannah), we have her crying and Hannah who is scared. Plus lots of testosterone and fights!

BRING IT ON!!!!

Until next week!

Lindsay